Grouch!

I am a grouch. Here are some reasons why (this is possibly going to replace Three Beautiful Things as am having a bit of an off day).

Why I Am A Grouch

- Have no money. Have spent all money on CRAP.
- Hate job but haven't got another one yet, so can't quit.
- Got moved back up a seat and band and can't handle it - want to sit on nice, easy seat not difficult, exposed one. Can play all the parts but knowledge that everyone can hear me doing so is awful. But can't quit as band is like the Mafia.
- Had dream last week in which I was a cabbage that was rotting in the vege crisper of someone's fridge, and people kept looking in the fridge and saying things like "there were so many dishes that would've been perfect in, but now we'll have to throw it out." Woke up very very disturbed and upset and have been having panic attacks since. Is obviously thinly veiled subconscious having a bit of a spaz. Not helpful! Had panic attack in the supermarket where got to the checkout with trolley of groceries, freaked out, and had to leave entire trolley at the checkout and leave. Thought people only did that in the movies! Was horrible and worrying. Am worried will have panic attack at work.
- Best work friend is away sick and has been all last week. Is dreary.
- Keep eating! Eating, eating, eating. Wish could stop doing so.
- Have cut fringe and do not like it. I look like one of the Beatles. If the Beatles were made of Lego.
- Am tired. Want to have a holiday but this is not a practical idea.
- Am meant to be catching up with about ten people (actually) for drinks/coffee/lunch/dinner/other tiring social events in the next couple of weeks - keep putting them off, and they keep getting annoyed and guilt-tripping me, so I can't enjoy nights off because I'm meant to be out meeting up with people that, for the most part, I can't be bothered seeing. I would love to go and see them if it wasn't cold and I wasn't tired, but it is and I am. I also know that 'maintaining friendships takes work' blah blah blah. I do not care. I will maintain friendships another time. Right now I will make a cup of tea (and complain, apparently).

Sorry about stupid whiny blog, but am grouchy. As previously mentioned. Oh well. All stuff that'll fix itself, I guess, but am just not very patient.

On a good note - work friend back tomorrow, have cup of tea, Skins is on tonight, have done washing for tomorrow, and hair is not actually that bad. A veritable scale of positive notes!