Brace yourselves, people. This is going to be a long post, because I have so many things to talk about. Fascinating things! Such fascinating things, in fact, that they will have be in list format for fear of overwhelming me (and you) with their sheer powers of fascination. (I'm sorry if this post is very boring - I feel slightly like an awards show presenter giving a rather A-List introduction to a star who is definitely lower B-List at best.)
Oh well, you should be used to it.
I'm thinking that I might do NaNoWriMo again this year. This is a slightly mental idea because for the first two weeks of November I'll be working and the show will be on, then for the last two weeks I was planning to quit my job and go on holiday. (Although staff party is at the end of November, and it would be nice to go out with a bang (not literally (ok, fine, literally.)))
Main reason am dithering over NaNoWriMo is that I can't think of anything to write about. I briefly thought about doing some Serious Literary Fiction (oo-er), but this nice idea was somewhat spoilt by my complete inability to take myself seriously.
I'm currently struggling with the climax and/or ending of existing novel (which is mid-edit) because it has to be semi-serious...last time something serious was meant to be happening, my main character became distracted and went into a long and completely unrelated digression about eggs. Why did he do that? I don't know. I keep trying to take out the eggs, and yet the eggs come back. Even if I manage to get rid of Inappropriate Egg Digression, character unintentionally uses a word in the wrong context, creating very witty dick joke.
Obviously there is no way something totally serious would keep me entertained for a month.
So I figure I am going to have to write something semi-serious. It can be like one of those two-layer chocolates. But not really. Chocolates are not always the best metaphor. Suggestions welcome (for novel or better metaphor, I don't mind).
2. My Lack of Internet Celebrity
I wonder how people get to be internet celebrities? Probably they just have more interesting blogs than me - by which I mean they have a more interesting blog than I do. (Although multiple interesting blogs would probably also help.) (God I am so tired.) But no, that can't be right, because some famous-on-the-internet blogs are simply terrible.
Sigh - I am not a meme. ("I wanna be a meeeeme! When I grow up, I wanna be an Internet meeeme!")
I can't be a meme, I don't even have a blogroll! I do not like the term blogroll. I think from now on I'll write 'blogroll,' not blogroll, in much the same way as I am insisting on calling 6am 'new 6am' and making little quotation marks with my fingers in that irritating way that people do. (Daylight savings was yesterday. 5am is the new 6am, and I am very bitter about this.)
3. My Cough And Ribs (a complaint, feel free to skip)
My ribs are still sore, and I am still coughing a lot. In addition to the cough, I have developed a wheeze! I was going to treat you to a little poem about the wheeze and the sneeze and some other things of that (phonetic) nature, but then I realised that a) I would be ripping off A.A. Milne and b) I would be ripping off Joe Bennett and c) none of you unartistic bastards would appreciate it anyway.
4. Learning About Serious Phrases
I have been learning about Serious Phrases. It turns out that there are Serious Phrases To Take Seriously ("we have to pay the power bill," "I love you (sober usage)"), Serious Phrases You Can Ignore ("you need to buy toilet paper," "I love you (non-sober usage)") and Serious Phrases you Should Have Taken Seriously, but Didn't ("do not drink whilst taking this medication.")
Found a Word file today (hilariously titled 'do not drink whilst yeah whatever') which appears to consist completely of random, disjointed thoughts. Many of which trail off in the middle, or change subject entirely -
5. Now I have nothing to put here.
I just thought I was being kinda clever, there. And now I feel like I should not start sentences with 'and,' but also that I should have something witty and sophisticated to write here instead of just random sentences to make this paragraph look like something with an actual point to it and not just something to fill up space, which it is. I am sorry that this is not a pithy observation of society. Right now I am very tired and not very pithy at all.