Thursday, March 12, 2009

...and you shall receive*

*disclaimer: what you receive may not necessarily be related to what you asked for.

News of the day: Holly gave me an award! It is called the Honest Scrap award - I am not sure why - and as part of it you display a snazzy icon, which is below. You'll notice that this time I've posted the actual icon, not a picture of a stranger's tattooed buttocks.

The other part of it, snazzy icons aside, is that you post 10 true things about yourself. It goes without saying that I was pretty highly tempted to make some or all of them up. You can decide which ones to believe.

1. I used to share a room (in a backpackers) with a transsexual hooker. It took me a month to realise that a) she didn't really work nights in a call center and b) she was actually a man. We used to go & sing drunken karaoke with her transsexual hooker friends. She rocked.

2. I once spent three and a half hours sitting outside in a garden bar in the middle of winter with my then flatmate, smoking and drinking and playing Connect Four. It was a great night. The bar staff gave us hot water bottles and blankets, and random strangers kept rocking up & offering strategy tips & playing 'guest games.'

3. I have a minor obsession with Blue Lagoon flavoured slushies. I would love a slushie machine.

4. I have a polar fleece blankie that my cousins & aunt & uncle - what's the word for that? A branch of my family tree? A knothole of cousins? Anyway, they gave me this fleecy, baby blue blanket with teddy bears on it for Christmas, and I adore it! I wear it constantly after about 6pm, sometimes use it as a superhero cape and sulk when my mummy makes me put it in the wash because it is grubby. I realise this is slightly at odds with my badass image, but blankie love conquers all. I'm afraid of washing it too much because it will lose its fluff :(

5. I would love to have a motorbike. I'm not just saying that to restore my badass reputation, I really would like one. Mainly because at the moment I'm riding a full-grown grizzly bear, and there's just nowhere to put my Uzi. Every time I think about this (motorbike, not blatant bear/Uzi lie) I get a song called Gonna Get Me A Motorbike stuck in my head. The only lyrics I know go "Gonna get me a motorbike, get me a motorbike, everything'll be all right if I get me a motorbike...all I want in life is a motorbike." Is not true - I also want a million dollars and wouldn't mind a cigarette - but the motorbike would be a good start.

6. Sometimes I really enjoy doing hideously tedious jobs, like painting or agricultural-type stuff, because I can either focus my mind completely on the tiny details of the task at hand, or let it wander merrily off into bleak wastelands of boredom, only to find completely bizarre and/or ridiculous scenarios arising there! I find mundanity relaxing sometimes.

7. Fuck you, spellcheck, mundanity is a word. Just like this is a fact. It is a fact that this fact that mundanity is a fact is a fact.

8. When I'm tired I have a tendency to talk constantly about nothing and go off on huge tangents, regardless of whose company I'm in. I also apologise for this all the time. I get told that I apologise too much fairly often. I'm sorry about all the apologising! Wow, that was like 3 facts in 1, what a bargain you're getting. Or, alternatively; sorry for putting too many facts in & fucking up the numbering.

9. I always think that lists like this (and those questionnaires that go around every so often) would be a fun thing to do, then run out of things to add halfway through and become hugely resentful about the whole thing. Worst one of these by about 500 million percent was '50 Things I Like About Myself,' which someone tagged me in. 50 is a lot of things. I was scraping the bottom of the barrel by No. 26. ('I can make an origami dog.')

10. I can make an origami dog.

Answers to questions tomorrow! Also possibly a grapg, or even a grapg. Damn. Graph.

Oh yes I was meant to give other people that award! Zach and the lovely Baglady, I choose YOU.


Nathan said...

Did your transexual hooker friend ever sing "Dude Looks Like A Lady" at karaoke? That would have been quite the mindfuck.

Holly said...

Yay for working out how to display the picture...and not the bum. :P

1) Lol that would have been a rather interesting realisation to have! What tipped you off, dare I ask?

2) Hahaha that sounds like the best 3.5 hours ever! Who won the most games, you or your friend?

3) I don't think I've ever had one of those! Are they from Wendys?

4) Haha I think I remember her telling me about this! It does sound rather loveable. I have a fleecy blanket too, but it doesn't have teddy bears on it, it's just purple.

5) Lol yes, a motorbike would be rather fun. Especially if you rode it after 6pm, complete with fuzzy teddy bear blanket. :D

6) Omg. I HATE that. I think it would make my brain explode. Worst job EVAR was stuffing envelopes with calendars for dad's clients. Brain freeze AND paper cuts!

7) Hey! It is a word! It's in the dictionary! Apparently Blogger does not have such a comprehensive knowledge of English!

8) And this is where you could have put 8a, 8b, 8c and so on... That would have been awesome.

9) I'm exactly the same. It's like the time I tried to do a list of 100 Things I Love. I got up to 90-something and then just couldn't think of anything else! It was sad.

10) That's pretty awesome. The only origami thing I can make is a little tiny star. Well, I can actually make over 1000 of them, and I have done and they all live in a star shaped jar on my bookshelf. :D Once Jenny tried to teach me how to make a paper crane. It took us FOREVER and I still couldn't do it. FAIL @ me.

Baglady said...

Hey Ally
Thank you for the honour. I have tried to live up to it but the only origami animal I can make is a swan. Or maybe you were lying about that one... Hmmm.

Boake. Isn't that something bad?

sleep500 said...

Nah, I boycotted the Oscars last time.

a cat of impossible colour said...

Blankie LOVE!

I always add so much to your comment thread.

IT IS ALLY said...

Nathan - that would have been AWESOME but she usually went for Hey Big Spender and/or Viva Las Vegas. She was actually pretty good!

sleep500 - this is WAY more important than the Oscars. How dare you. I'll give you the HKArsetat award instead then. ARSE AND ALL, BUDDY.

Holly - I will answer your queries in the order they were asked. I was eventually tipped off by the stubble - I am the undisputed Connnect4 champion, of course - the blue slushies are from the Caltex we pass on the way back from kickboxing, allowing us to undo all that exercise!

Baglady - I believe Boake means Vomit but I'm not sure.

Andrea - yes.