Sunday, March 01, 2009

Excuse me, my bok choi is ringing

I found my baby bok choi-shaped phone! It is green and shaped like bok choi and generally very exciting and/or tacky, depending on your appreciation of awesomeness. I mean, lack of taste. Sadly there's no phone jack in my room, but this hasn't stopped me putting the BBCP on my desk in pride of place anyway. Am pretty sure that if I was ever to receive a direct message from God, He'd call on the BBCP. Phone jack or no.

Ew, work tomorrow. Do not want to go. The thing that annoys me the most about work is its total lack of disorganisation - they have no electronic database system (repeat customers/people to call back actually have to be written on pieces of paper - come on people are we or are we not living in the 21st century), no filing system to speak of, no central database of information on our product (there is a semi-regularly updated clearfile folder but I refuse to count this), a poor training system, and a grammatically incorrect and completely unworkable sales script. Give me five days, a lot of stationery and a team of midgets (filing midgets and computer programming midgets, mainly - midgets because they'll take up less room and hey, the recession's hitting everyone, right? Jobs for midgets!) and I could have the whole lot sorted out. I just want to FIX THINGS.

Also I want to not make any more telemarketing calls.

Ah well - am trying to remind myself that I hated EFTPOS when I first started there, and look how that turned out! Oh yeah that's right I continued to hate it and turned into a borderline alcoholic. Hmm.

Perhaps, tomorrow, I will stage a revolution. Or maybe next Monday, when I've been there a little longer and completely cemented my reputation - and Oh My God, iTunes, which is on Random in the other room, has just started playing Red and Black from Les Miserables, which is possibly the most revolutionary song ever written (apart from do you hear the people sing?, but I don't like that). It is a sign!

Telemarketers, the time is now! Rise from your swivel chairs! Let us stand as one against the evil corporate oppressor!

No more shall our lifeless fingers play upon our filthy, standard-issue keypads!

No longer shall our delicate lower-class buttocks grace these ergonomically unsound chairs!

Comrades, throw off your headsets! The revolution has come!

Soon, from the highest of CBD towers, will fly the symbol of justice, of righteousness, of freedom...

The Headset and Biro!




4 comments:

Jennifer said...

Hello! Yay BBCP!

The revolution sounds like fun, can I come? Now I have 'Do you hear the people sing?' playing in my head. If it's still there tomorrow, I'm coming after you. :-P

IT IS ALLY said...

Hehehe! I wish BBCP plugged into something. Of course you can come on the revolution, it is for all! Except of course the capitalist pig dogs.

Holly said...

You have a bok choi phone!? Man! I thought my pink phone-shaped phone was cool! :O

Lol at the midgets and headset and biro. Very cool. :D For some reason, your description of the revolution reminds me of the Kiwibank ad!?

Jenny: Ever thought about the lyrics, and the song of angry men? Just get the mental image of Angry Man dancing in Les Mis into your head and somehow I don't think it's Ally you'll be coming after! Hah!

a cat of impossible colour said...

This is unrelated, but I hate those lame Kiwi-bank ads with the revolution theme. HATE them. Especially when they ask captured-resistance-woman a question and she says ONE thing and then says "Shall I go on?" You can't use that line unless you've listed SEVERAL things, because otherwise the response will be, "Well, yes, actually, we would like you to go on, because you only gave one reason."

Word verification = Agism. HA! HA!