Saturday, April 18, 2009

DEAD GIVEAWAY: edited (twice)

Today Andrea suggested I do a reader giveaway.

Does anyone want sleep500? You may have him.*

No. That is not what it means. She does them on her blog - asks people to leave a comment if they'd like a Lovely Thing, and then she draws a name at random and sends the person the Lovely Thing.

However, there are two important differences between Andrea's Blog Giveaways and mine:

1. Andrea runs a fashion blog (for those of you who haven't seen it, it's here), and she sends her readers beautiful items of clothing. I do not run a fashion blog, so God knows what you'll be getting. I promise it won't be anything gross, like one of my toenails. (Let me know if you'd like one of those, though, I plan to trim them in the near future.) Haven't decided what it will be yet, but it will be Nice and Interesting! And anyway if you don't like it you can sell it or, if you are wise, hold onto it until I am famous and then sell it.

2. To enter Andrea's giveaways, you just have to leave a comment, and then she draws a name out of a hat. To enter MINE you have to leave a comment with what you think PZS stands for.** Andrea thought it might be 'Pizzle Zircon Syphilis,' which is a particularly bad strain of syphilis (as opposed to the particularly good ones) that turns your pizzle to zircon. So that should give you some idea of the level of competition.

I'll let it run for a week, at the end of which I will either have a winner or a decided lack of interest. I'll pick my favourite PZS and then I'll mail the winner the prize (they will have to be willing to email me their postal address. That is the catch.) If there are two I can't decide between, well, I might send two prizes. Or I might not. I could do anything. WHO KNOWS? That is the excitement of a reader giveaway.

If it is the latter - i.e. no-one wishes to participate - I will KEEP THE PRIZE, but I will also be very sad.

EDITED BIT: New readers and people who have not commented before are totally expected to enter, just like the old faithful are. (Yay!) Also you can totally enter more than once.

Also I had an idea for a game show using the Survivor format: you gather 16 people on various medications (say a couple of schizophrenics, a dissociative, someone with paranoia, a manic-depressive, someone with ADHD, etc) then put them all on an island and take away the meds.

Ohmygod ohmygod they all hate me it's going to be me tonight they're going to vote me off aren't they.

I will call it Survivor: Panic Island. I am a God-damn genius.

*I told him about the giveaway and that he could enter and he was all "SHUT UP I'M TRYING TO LISTEN TO ICE MELT."

** not 'Preteen Zombie Sluts,' but that would probably be a pretty good porno

Andrea: that was total meta-PZS.


elisa said...

pustules (on) zorro's sausage

Baglady said...

You've set the bar too high. I cannot think of anything worthy enough to post :(

dulshi - a small sleeveless jacket made from rabbit skins worn by Mongolian goatherders.

IT IS ALLY said...

Keep thinking. It will come.

IT IS ALLY said...

I should've made it 'best definition of a word verification'! Oh well, next time

Anonymous said...

Porpoise-zapping stick

Anonymous said...

Palpator of Zimbabwean Sausages

Josh said...

Post-Zoist Substantialism.

Jill said...

Plastic Zebra Species

eg. What is with that unusually stationary animal? Oh, he is a member of the the PZS.
auldie: something so old, it's auld.

Anonymous said...

Post zygotic stress (stress experienced by an individual post conception)

elisa said...

papal 'zesty sauce'

Jesus is coming? Well, you should swallow.

Wiz said...

Psychotic Zygote Syndrome (AKA what the body does to you after the menopause...)

Google said...

Planinska Zveza Slovenije

Baglady said...

Hmmm. I would much prefer definition of word verification. I think I might have a chance then.

Portable zoo storage
Perfect zen stillness

eakheric - a type of priest who prefers not to be heard out loud but to communicate telepathically.

elisa said...

also, i don't really want a prize if i were to win. i just can't stop thinking of PZS. i may have a bit of a problem with hyperfocusing. i've thought of way too many other good ones but i refuse to post anymore.

Kaileigh said...

preposterous zany silly-string?

Kaileigh said...

Or maybe that's PZS-S :(

Jill said...

I don't have a new one, I just wanted to say that my word verification is "jewic."

Somebody, say something!

Anonymous said...

Pink Zinced Smurf

IT IS ALLY said...

You are allowed to enter as many times as you like! (Someone asked me about multiple entries yesterday.)

Some of these are pure genius. Pure, Zany Smartness.

elisa: I have also become obsessed.

Jill: we should write and complain.

Kaileigh: that totally counts.

Platinum Zoot Suit.

Anonymous said...


I, Anonymous, have entered four times, now.

Pourquoi? Zero strength-of-character.

sleep500 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sleep500 said...

Panic Zoo Syndrome!

That's where going to the zoo distresses you in a big way. I fucking hate seeing all of the animals in shitty pens and shit. I guess they get three meals a day but so do child rapists.

A lion is not a child rapist so it shouldn't be treated like one.

(I removed my earlier comment as I had committed a sin - you kids who subscribe to the comments know what I'm talking about)

sleep500 said...


Panache: Zach Sleep500

Brooke said...

Probably Zebra Shit (when you're out walking with your friend and you see a stripy turd on the ground, and you say 'oh it's PZS')

Phonetic Zoological Studies (the university faculty dealing with the sounds that animals make)

Pre-teen Zorba-fancying Sanctuary (where you send your intermediate-aged child if they like Zorba the Greek a little TOO much)

Pandora-Zeus Sex (Greek mythology incest (it seems Zeus created Pandora))

Possibly Zinzan Snoring (what I say when guests ask me what the strange rumbling noise coming from the couch is (Zinzan is my cat)).

LOL the word verification is actually deform. I'm not trying to encroach on baglady's territory, I just thought it was worth sharing :-P

Anonymous said...

Pulling zen shit.

Like, sitting and BEING, man.

Anonymous said...

Pulling zen shit.

Like, sitting and BEING, man.