Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Gettin' Some Answers, Part One*

*there will be a second part where I answer the rest of your questions.

Have you ever wished someone close to you would ask\tell you something awkward and then when they did, you regretted wishing it? - Gary

Not as far as I recall, no. More often it has been the other way around i.e. I have told them something awkward and we have all regretted it.

Do you have an obsession you should be ashamed of? - Gary

Far too many. Some are quite socially acceptable & only a little shameful, relatively speaking; here are those ones.
- Always checking the toilet for spiders before taking a seat
- Insisting that the shower curtain not be pulled across at night because if I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom I get scared that there's an axe-murderer hiding in the bath
- Always carrying a notebook because I live in fear of having (or witnessing) a moment of brilliance, not writing it down, and forgetting it forever
- Crushing eggshells before putting them in the rubbish because I heard somewhere that witches use them for boats.

If you meant something along the lines of 'are there any really embarrassing bands you are obsessed with,' then yes. Yes, there are. No, I am not telling you about them.

Am I freaking you out?- Gary

No. Should I be freaked out? Are you a pervert stalker of some kind? Maybe I am a little freaked out now.

Who is NRT? - Gary

Sorry, but no dice - like wearers of the Cuchini, my lips are sealed.

Would you rather have no legs and no arms or the head of a weasel? - Andrea

Totally the head of a weasel. This decision is partly based on real life considerations (would progress quickly through the business world as everyone would be afraid to argue with you/not hire you for fear of discrimination lawsuit, would then marry supermodel and write motivational book about living with weasel-head ("Vermin: One Woman's Amazing Fight to Live a Normal Life") and retire to my private island (Weasel Island) to live a life of weaselheaded luxury) and partly based on NetHack (worst thing about accidentally eating a werejackal corpse and transforming into a jackal from time to time isn't the hideous deformity, it's the fact that you can't hold a sword or open any doors). Also I would take great delight in the huge awkward silence that would arise any time someone accidentally used the phrase 'weasel out of it.'

Who would play you in the movie of your Liff? - Andrea

Probably myself. Is hard to find actresses with weasel heads, and if they did it with special effects it'd be really expensive.

How often do you think about Gibbons? - Andrea

Rarely, but I still think 'Thinking of Gibbons' is a good band name. If that was my band name the whole world would think about Gibbons more, and I could garner extra publicity and record sales by claiming to be an animal rights activist drawing attention to the plight of the Gibbon, as well as an insanely talented musician. Not sure if Gibbons are actually in any kind of plight but I'm pretty sure I could make them be if the ownership of Weasel Island was at stake.

What material possessions do you covet? - Andrea



What's your favourite dream you've ever had? - Andrea

Oh man this is really difficult because I love dreams so much and have such good ones. The one where Xalion and I were outlawed, katana-packing, dreadlocked flying world-saving samurai would have to be up there. But then again, so would the one where I was a unicorn flying through a neon sunset, the one where I fought off a robotic cobra, and the one where I met the love of my life and he loved me back and also he was an alien with yellow reptilian eyes.

If you were a bear, would you like to eat salmon? Would you bother chasing moose if you knew they were more tasty? - Holly

If I was a bear! Oh if only. If I was an animal, I would definitely be a bear - they are cute, but they can still kick your ass. My mother says the animal you would choose to be says a lot about you, and which qualities you value in other people & would like to possess yourself. It is totally accurate. I would love to be perceived as cute yet dangerous. Please tell me you perceive me like that! You don't, do you. You perceive me as I don't know a meerkat or something. Actually now you probably perceive me as some weird weasel-human hybrid - sigh.

Anyway, back to the actual question here. I would eat salmon when I couldn't be bothered going after moose. Moose would be for the nights when I could be bothered cooking, and salmon would be a 2-minute-noodles-and-tinned-beetroot kind of solution. Also, i keep typing 'heater' as 'ehater.' Is it someone that hates the Internet, or someone who uses the Internet to hate on people?

What's your favourite vegetable? - Brooke

See, normally I would say something like, "Oh, I don't know, vegetables are vegetables, maybe carrot?" but then recently I discovered half a tin of pickled beetroot in the fridge and now I freakin' love beetroot. In later years this will be referred to as my Beetroot Period which would be a truly horrible gynaecological term

What's your middle name? - Brooke

Roget, like the thesaurus.

How many bristles are there in your toothbrush? - Brooke

24 (groups of individual strands). Wonder if this is standard? Wikipedia is not sure, but it does tell me that the inventor of the toothbrush, a Mr William Addis, invented it while he was in jail (he found a bit of animal bone in his cell, drilled holes in it (they don't say how), and got some bristles off the warden) in 1780, then became very rich when he got out & started mass producing the Tooth Brushers.

My favourite fact about the invention of the toothbrush, however, is that Mr Addis was thrown in jail in the first place for causing a riot. If it wasn't for anarchy, we'd all have plaque. (That would be a great slogan for...something. zach,

Why do you think the ancient Greeks came up with the idea of a minotaur? Those crazy ancient Greeks. - Fraser

Cautionary tale about cow-fuckin'.

Do you prefer cirrus or cumulonimbus clouds? Answer in iambic pentameter, two lines minimum. - Fraser

If clouds, in life, can be your main concern
Of hardship it appears you've much to learn;
I dream of arms laid down, of peaceful crowds
who stare as one to heav'n, and judge the clouds.

What happened to this question? - Fraser

You used up two questions' worth of brain on the previous one.

How will I die? - Fraser

You will explode.


a cat of impossible colour said...

I hope Fraser does explode, and someone films it on their phone and puts it on Youtube.

I love you as a half-weasel!

Brooke said...

Is that really your middle name? That's the best thing I've ever heard! Srsly. I am jealous. I love my mn, but man...*sigh*

/namenerd moment

Wow your dreams are just as weird as mine!

I think I am going to refer to my toothbrush as Addis now.

Also, LOL @ the Beetroot Period. I went through a Cheese and Gherkin Period once, which sounds like an even worse gynaecological term. o.O

Holly said...

Hahah I love these things. They are awesome.

OMG I'm the same about the shower! Mine has a door instead of curtain, but if I ever walk into the bathroom to find it shut, I'm always like "Wait! What? Is someone hiding in there!?"

Cuchini!? Good grief! Who would have ever thought there is a product for that kind of thing!? o.O

LOL! I like WeaselAlly. She amuses me a lot.

I second Brooke's question. Is Roget srsly your middle name? o.O I don't really have any special opinion of mine. It's not terribly exciting, but it suits the rest of my name. I think.

I bought a new toothbrush today. It's pink. :D

gary said...

Sorry not a pervert stalker, no offence to them, but the hours are terrible and the pay is non-existent.

Maybe just the one band? I wish I had better questions now.

Those greeks must have been tall.

Why would you insist on having spiders in the bathroom?

IT IS ALLY said...

Andrea, Holly - yes! Half-weasel self may be star of impending webcomic.

Brooke, Holly, you gullible fools! My middle name is actually Helene, sorry to disappoint. Roget would be pretty cool, though.

Holly - am so glad someone shares bizarre fear of shower axe-murderer.

Gary - because last week I found a spider on the toilet roll and it was SO ALMOST TOO LATE. Terrifying. Also I got told to check for toilet spiders when I was in Australia and the idea terrified me.