This post is a blatant cry for
Do you guys have those days where you lounge about and do the crossword and drink some coffee and all is going well then suddenly it's 3pm and you think, "Hmm, I haven't really done anything today," and then that suddenly mutates into this enormous panicked cloud of "OH MY GOD I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING IN MONTHS I AM WASTING MY LIFE OH MY GOD FUCK FUCK FUCK" and then you wonder about what if you never do anything with your life and how you really must do something but you have no idea what, and then you have a little cigarette to calm yourself down and OH MY GOD I STILL HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING EXCEPT HAVE A CIGARETTE WHICH WILL KILL ME OH MY GOD FUCK FUCK FUCK and then you know with a cold certainty that you will never do anything with your life and this is such a hideous realisation that in order to avoid thinking about it anymore you go and buy a couple of bottles of wine and OH MY GOD NOW I AM DRUNK AND HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING PERHAPS I AM AN ALCOHOLIC OH MY GOD FUCK FUCK FUCK and then you realise that all your hopes and dreams are destined to fail and you are just DOOMED to a life of MISERY and UNFULFILMENT because surely the life plan was to be ludicrously successful by now and OH MY GOD IT IS TOO LATE FOR ME THE BOAT OF HAPPINESS HAS SAILED WHILE I WAS IN THE LOO OF LIFE AND NOW I AM STUCK IN THE LOO OF LIFE FOREVER OH MY GOD FUCK FUCK FUCK I AM A LIFE TURD.
I am totally having one of those days. Please comment with something encouraging.
Here are some examples of things you might like to comment:
- "You are not a life turd"
- "I, too, circle that great porcelain bowl"
- "I totally have those days, and I am a happy, successful professional"
- "I used to have those days, but then I found my calling/myself/God/Prozac"
- "It might help if you occasionally left the house to do something productive"
- "Get a haircut/job/degree."
Ok, not the last couple. I know that doing stuff is the solution, and I'm working on it, but right now I am a Dissatisfied Life Turd and needed to complain. Thanks for listening, if you did. If not, well, THANKS FOR NOTHING. HMPH.