Saturday, July 11, 2009


OK so two posts in one day but fuck it, I make the rules here, people.

This post is a blatant cry for help sympathy - if you don't feel like being sympathetic right now there's another new post below this one, maybe you can go and read that.

Do you guys have those days where you lounge about and do the crossword and drink some coffee and all is going well then suddenly it's 3pm and you think, "Hmm, I haven't really done anything today," and then that suddenly mutates into this enormous panicked cloud of "OH MY GOD I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING IN MONTHS I AM WASTING MY LIFE OH MY GOD FUCK FUCK FUCK" and then you wonder about what if you never do anything with your life and how you really must do something but you have no idea what, and then you have a little cigarette to calm yourself down and OH MY GOD I STILL HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING EXCEPT HAVE A CIGARETTE WHICH WILL KILL ME OH MY GOD FUCK FUCK FUCK and then you know with a cold certainty that you will never do anything with your life and this is such a hideous realisation that in order to avoid thinking about it anymore you go and buy a couple of bottles of wine and OH MY GOD NOW I AM DRUNK AND HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING PERHAPS I AM AN ALCOHOLIC OH MY GOD FUCK FUCK FUCK and then you realise that all your hopes and dreams are destined to fail and you are just DOOMED to a life of MISERY and UNFULFILMENT because surely the life plan was to be ludicrously successful by now and OH MY GOD IT IS TOO LATE FOR ME THE BOAT OF HAPPINESS HAS SAILED WHILE I WAS IN THE LOO OF LIFE AND NOW I AM STUCK IN THE LOO OF LIFE FOREVER OH MY GOD FUCK FUCK FUCK I AM A LIFE TURD.

I am totally having one of those days. Please comment with something encouraging.

Here are some examples of things you might like to comment:

- "You are not a life turd"
- "I, too, circle that great porcelain bowl"
- "I totally have those days, and I am a happy, successful professional"
- "I used to have those days, but then I found my calling/myself/God/Prozac"
- "It might help if you occasionally left the house to do something productive"
- "Get a haircut/job/degree."

Ok, not the last couple. I know that doing stuff is the solution, and I'm working on it, but right now I am a Dissatisfied Life Turd and needed to complain. Thanks for listening, if you did. If not, well, THANKS FOR NOTHING. HMPH.


Joff said...

I totally have those days, and I am a *****, successful professional

My date on Thursday didn't go quite as great as I would have liked OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE AS A WRINKLY BITTER OLD MAN

On the other hand, I'm now gonna leave my apartment, get a coffee, a bagel, and a haircut.

(looks like LJ comments don't allow strikethrough)

a cat of impossible colour said...

You are very young and have lots of time to Do Things and Sort Things Out. If you were forty-five it would be a different story.

I do not think you should get a degree right now because you would go mental at all the Students, but I think you will get a lovely job that you will enjoy, and you will earn lots of money and be happy. And at least you are a person positively stuffed with good qualities, like a Saveloy of Personal Development, and not a Pigling Bland.

Mr London Street said...

Days like the ones you have described are the best days. I must be missing something. If you find out what it is, please don't tell me.

Kaileigh said...

I have those days now and then, but actually less ever since I lost my job...

What used to kill me was when I would be driving to or from work and get in traffic and it hit me that I was *one of those nine-to-fivers* watching the clock all day and driving in traffic and angry.

You will be able to find a job that makes you happy and suits you well. It's out there somewhere! :)

Christina said...

I totally have those days, and I am a happy, succes- I have a professional job. It took ages to find one I didn't hate, but they're out there! Unemployment is a bitch (I have horrible memories of it after I left uni, and ended up working in wage retail *shudder*), but things eventually get better.

I know I don't know you real well, but you seem like the kind of person who'd kick arse at a whole bunch of jobs. Hmmm... something where you get to expound crazy ideas and make stories up? Like, say, advertising (or politics?). I'm with Andrea on the Saveloy thing (he he he he how wrong does that sound?)

Also, I think I have your copy of Good Omens somewhere? Must remember to give that back...

Anonymous said...

I have those days and I am a .... professional. I'd rather be sailing a yacht through the Philippines than doing any sort of professional work, though. I have those days even more, now that I have small children who keep me firmly anchored to pasta cooking, laundry doing, park going, day in day out. I always found unemployment so unjust, free time in theory is a sweet thing but when you are too broke to do anything it's not that sweet. One step at a time. Small goals, on a bigger path. Good journalism school in Chch....

Fraser Dron said...

Yah, I have those days/weeks/years. Hate 'em. Today's example: "Why do I have to be at work, so bored, so bored, oh no my finger is sort of bent am I getting arthritis oh shit oh shit".

I don't think there's any quick fix, but nothing is ever permanent. And doing stuff does help. GO DO STUFF.

You're okay. :)

Charlie said...

Sometimes those days happen, and it's shit I get those days too, but you'll get though it! I send you lots of positive energy. There is plenty of time to sort out your life and everything will be okay because everything always is because life is just like the movies, and If i don't believe that my universe will collapse in on itself!