Tuesday, October 20, 2009

VENGEANCE WEEK

But first, Nudist Update! It is on Labour Day. I think I might be working. But if I'm not I'm totally going. I feel I owe it to you. And myself. And the children. They are the future.

Anyway, on to VENGEANCE WEEK:

I was thinking this morning about revenge, and how it is, like vichyssoise, best served cold (and also: delicious and satisfying) and I decided that the Time has Come to Be Avenged (or, perhaps, to avenge myself.) (I was thinking about revenge because yesterday a colleague of mine stole a client of mine, neglected to tell me about it, then fucked up all his ads - but I am not avenging myself on her (can you avenge yourself on someone? I am not exacting my revenge on her) because she is Dim and it is Not Her Fault.) I have decided the time is ripe - RIPE, I tell you - to strip my pound of flesh from Butthead McArseFace. For those of you who do not remember Butthead, he did a Very Bad Thing at the start of the year, and I decided to Be An Adult and not get back at him. This decision was mature, but ultimately unsatisfying.

I know revenge buggers up your karma. But I do not care. Hence VENGEANCE WEEK! Feel free to join in.


Letters to the editor?
Flaming bags of dog poo?
Firebombs? (I do not know how to make these.)
Anonymous notifications of impending fatherhood?

Anonymous flaming poo-coated letters of impending fatherhood?

Let VENGEANCE WEEK begin.

In other news, I like Japan's attitude towards whaling. "We're not catching them to eat! We're catching them to research. But now that we're done researching we have all this leftover whale. You want that we should waste all this leftover whale? I'm sure you can see our point. Pass the chopsticks."

6 comments:

Tennyson ee Hemingway said...

Ah vengence. It's all good. Just have 15 pizzas delivered to his place, a half hour at a time. It works a treat.

Tooting Squared said...

Any blog which starts with a nudist update, is, surely, a blog worth reading.

Vengence. Sign him up for every freebie mail order catalogue / magazine going. The ones that come in clear celophane wrappers. "Gay Flimz 4 U", "Chicken Lover News" etc.

VW = flamous. "Flamous poo-coated letters of impending fatherhood"

otherworldlyone said...

I love plotting revenge. While drinking.

Impending fatherhood letter...nice touch.

Esmerelda said...

I always go with magazine subscriptions of questionable taste. kittens. puppies. drunk grannies (grampas?) with knockers (testicles?) to their knees.

Baglady said...

If you can get access to his abode then I would advise prawns in the curtain hems, dry rice down every plughole and maybe a turd under his bed.

wv= expet. This pet is no more. It is a non-pet. etc

a cat of impossible colour said...

Send him a telegram saying "FLEE AT ONCE STOP ALL IS DISCOVERED STOP" and see what happens.