Tuesday, December 01, 2009
23 More Sleeps
Subheading: Christmas Dinner.
Christmas Dinner (capitals are deserved, there are 13 of us attending) is at our house this year. The best thing about having Christmas Dinner at our house is that I get to appoint myself Head of Seating Arrangements. It's the best thing because if, for example, one of your relatives has recently annoyed you, you can retaliate by placing them between Nana (somewhat deaf but a very good lip-reader) and Uncle John (thinks Nana is profoundly deaf so shouts at her), and pretend that it was just the way that things turned out - also, you can put the two people most likely to quibble over obscure points of theology at the same end of the table, and yourself at the other end, and thus is Christmas passed happily.
The worst thing about our family's Christmas is that apart from a modest glass of wine with the meal, we do not really drink. So my house will be full of Relatives, all of whom will be asking well-meaning questions about My Direction in Life (usual response: "It is like the direction of a balloon you have just let go of the end of") and I will be full of Sobriety. Bleeeeeh.
We are having:
A Turkey. This is a Tradition, and if we did not have a Turkey then we would all Explode. Mum is in charge of the Turkey because a) she knows how long to cook it for and b) she knows how to stuff it without getting her hand stuck in the end (I do not).
New Potatoes. This is not a Tradition, but Nana, with the mindless enthusiasm of the well-meaning elderly, planted a buttload of potatoes this year and we have to do something with them. Mum is boiling these because I am too good for such menial duties.
Roast Vegetables. These have taken the place of Peas, Beans & Carrots (which are Traditional, but which I have Vetoed.) There will be Pumpkin, Kumara, Yams, and Onion. I am making this. There will not be Parsnip because I do not like it, I think it is an appalling vegetable, and will not tolerate it in my Roast Vegetable Medley, no matter how much everyone else likes it. This is another bonus to having Christmas Dinner at your house.
Cranberry and Mint Jelly. These will come out of Jars and be made in a Factory.
A Green Salad. This is unprecedented, but apparently the absence of Peas means that we need Something Green. (This is not my rule.) Fuck knows who is making this, but it will not be me.
Tiramisu. I am going to bust out some kind of Christmas version. No idea what will be in it yet, except whiskey.
Berries, Cream, and Little Meringues. Another Tradition. Will be supplied by Aunt (she doesn't know that she'll be supplying them yet, but she will.)
Christmas Pudding. Made by Nana, cooked by Nana, set alight by Mum because I am not responsible enough to do it.
Brandy Sauce. Ew. Made by Mum, scorned by all.
Is anyone else having CD at their house? Are you excited?