Thursday, December 31, 2009

Bye-bye 2009

Here is a year-end questionnaire. Feel free to do it if you like – there are 40 questions but I’ve just crossed out the shit ones,* maybe you could do the same.

*the ones where my answers were shit, I mean

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before? Nothing polite, I'm sure. Um...I didn't go to a brass band national contest. Which I haven't not done in 12 years. Also, I shaved my head.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I never make any, because I never keep them, and that’s just disheartening. I start off every New Year going “…and I will become smarter and richer and thinner and JUST GENERALLY BETTER and also I will gain at least three superpowers, and maybe quit smoking” and then realise about three minutes later that out of all the resolutions, the one most likely to actually happen is the one about the superpowers. I do, however, like what Andrea did here - she picked a word to focus on in 2010 instead of setting resolutions. Go and read all about it.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
I sincerely fucking hope not, because if they did I have forgotten and am a terrible friend and person.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
I sincerely fucking hope not, because if they did I have forgotten and I am a terrible friend and person.*

*Actually yes. But just the one.

5. What countries did you visit? Again, just the one. I hope the number of countries I visit has no bearing on the number of friends that perish, because next year I’m going to visit least 2.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
House? Car? Fat savings account? Superpowers.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? I...I guess I didn’t really go on that many dates.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Not dying! This is always my biggest achievement. Pretty good, huh.

9. What was your biggest failure?
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
11. What was the best thing you bought?

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Everyone who followed and/or read my blog – I don’t pretend to understand you, but I think you’re awesome.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
14. Where did most of your money go?

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? Certainly not this questionnaire. I’m not sure anything I did this year merited three ‘really’s.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
These two.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? (c) richer or poorer? Happier, thinner and richer. That’s right, people. I’m a motherfuckin’ success story.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
20. How did you spend Christmas?
21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?

23. How many one night stands this past year? Good question. I think three. Way down from 2008! I should make a graph of promiscuity over time. I meant to make a graph of shags by nationality actually. I should really get around to that. It would be interesting. Like, science.

24. What was your favorite TV program? 7 Days because I am madly in love with Jeremy Corbett. I wonder how many one night stands he has had. I wonder if he would like to have another one.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Listen, hate is a very strong wor- YES TOTALLY. I disliked them before, but now I would happily stand by and watch their entrails be removed by a pitbull, and then I would give the pitbull a doggy treat. Does anyone have a pitbull I could borrow?

26. What was the best book you read?

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
It was totally this, which Kate and I discovered last night. You should go and watch it - at least until the first chorus, when they start dancing.

28. What did you want and get? New job!

29. What did you want and not get? Pay packet to match old job!

30. What was your favorite film of this year? Certainly not 2012

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I was 22 and I can’t remember what I did but if you really care I probably blogged about it around July 29 because that is when my birthday is.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Superpowers.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009? I don’t think I’ve ever thought of myself as having a ‘personal fashion concept’ but if I did it would be 'this was clean'

34. What kept you sane?
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

36. What political issue stirred you the most? Hone Harawira being a big fat racist was not good, but what bothered me more was Prime Minister John Key's total lack of interest in bathroom safety.

37. Who did you miss? Mainly Wellington people – Sarah, Todd, old workmates - and Nico, who had the bad manners to die before I got bored with him. That is rude.

38. Who was the best new person you met? I met a lot of high-quality people! Owen is pretty cool. Honourable mentions go to Tams, who I work with, Danny, who I do not work with, the boys from band, Phil, my favourite funeral director, and assorted people I met on the internet (e.g. oh look it’s you guys again, please feel special and keep reading my blog.)

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009. I…I’m not very good at these. Maybe “Alcohol is not a very good coping mechanism.”

...HA HA I totally had you going there. That’s a shit life lesson, ignore that

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. I’m on a dolphin, doin’ tricks and shit. That's the first one that came to mind and I am all about trust your instinct.


neon panda said...

I have superpowers.

Also, as regards the pit bull fiasco, I would definitely recommend not cleaning the blood off of its snout. no one else would dare to cross you if you had a blood covered pit bull in your yard.

Do dogs have snouts? Do you call them snouts? I cant remember.

IT IS ALLY said...

Nozzle? Muzzle. Although snout is ok, a bloodthirsty pig would suffice. A wild boar!

What superpowers do you have?

Baglady said...

Am poppping some superpowers in the post. Then your life will be complete.

knizowni - the name of your new superpower. Say it loud - knizowni!

otherworldlyone said...

"Fuck trees, I climb buoys mothafucka."

My superpower is rapping like a white girl.