Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Dwarf Empire

Thank you for the driving advice, everyone! I can do 3-point turns now, but I am better at 5-point turns.

In mildly offensive news, did you guys know that China has a town populated entirely by dwarves I mean little people? (America said: "OMG"; Japan said: "Great idea. Needs more tentacles." ) It is called the Dwarf Empire, it shares space with the Ecological Garden of Butterfly - which makes perfect sense - and it is a tourist attraction. They currently employ just over 100 little people, but plan for up to 600. Which would be quite a spectacle. Especially if they formed a human pyramid, or remade High School Musical, or all did Thriller at once. (As a civilized Westerner you are quite right to say Oh my Lord, those poor underrepresented dwarves! but if you had a free ticket I totally bet you would go.)

Annual crossover with the Ecological Garden of Butterfly.

Dwarf Empire calls itself a theme park but actually it seems to function more like a zoo - twice a day the residents come out to perform a show for normal-sized people and, you know, school groups (it teaches the schoolchildren acceptance, because it is easier to accept people who are unlike you when they come out in costume and ride tiny horses (unsubstantiated, but one would assume there are tiny horses)). Like a weird nightmare or a horribly unexpected porn twist, the show features dwarves and techno.

But everyone wins because while you and I get to indulge our stare-at-the-bearded-lady tendencies the dwarf employees get a decent wage, which they would otherwise be unable to get (in a startling development, China is not so good with the equal employment opportunities) and free accommodation and they live in an accepting community and they get to be married ("Short-term relationships, I presume?" asked my colleague) and have children which FREAKS ME OUT because I am a dwarfist bigot* but probably doesn't freak them out quite as much, so the whole thing works for them. (I kind of really want the statistics on whether little people tend to marry each other, or normal-sized people. Not because I am little-people-ist but because I am CURIOUS.)

What do you guys think? I know that the Western world is shouting DWARFSPLOITATION but I'm kind of OK with it if the employees/residents/artistes are getting a much better deal than they would otherwise. Also I am biased because I think a dwarf version of High School Musical would be way better than the actual version.

Yeah, we're breaking free!

*feel free to be disgusted with me in the comments section. I can't even play "some of my best friends are little people" because they aren't. But if I went to the Kingdom of the Dwarves they totally could be. Even Dwarf Zac Efron, there.


Helga! said...

Dwarf throwing is a much under-rated sport.

Elle said...

They should rename it "Dwarf Zoo". That would be funny. I think I'm going to write to them.

Esmerelda said...

I'm frightened and intrigued all at the same time.

And I would probably go see Dwarf School Musical, even if it wasn't free.

otherworldlyone said...

This was hilarious. :)

I've always been curious about dwarves in general. If I had a chance to go that're right, I'd totally go.

IT IS ALLY said...

Helga! - I like your new ! I think it looks good on you.

Elle - It also sounds better in a Chinese accent.

Esmerelda - Maybe we should get a sponsor and PUT ON DSM.

ow1 - Maybe we should get a sponsor and organise a trip.