I had a dream last night that I logged on and my followers had dropped to 73 because I posted about poo. (Yeah, I know, my world is small.) Thank you for not making that dream a reality. Now, I will talk about sex. I'm sure you're all very pleased.
Did you know that NZ women are the world's most promiscuous, with 20.4 sexual partners each? (Not all at the same time.*) I would say the figures are skewed by the occasional high performer but they didn't even survey me.
*alternate punchline: Not counting sheep.
Kink shrink I mean sexual psychologist** Robyn Salisbury feels this is a reaction to being hurt in relationships. Does this mean that kiwi men are the biggest wankers in the world? (Figurative wankers - there is no need for actual wanking when the women are so slutty. (Christine, if you're reading this at work, I'm sorry. It's probably not appropriate.)) Maybe it is a VICIOUS CYCLE OF HEARTBREAK (and casual sex).
Ms Salisbury also links the rise in random shagging back to internet dating, which I'm totally not in a position to argue with, but did you know speed dating was invented by rabbis to save time finding a potential partner? Are we slutty because of rabbis? Are rabbis slutty? Is that why it is spelt so like rabbits? Oh my God, someone call Dan Brown.
**Sexual psychologists bother me - I think they are all a bit pervy. This is because if I was to become a sexual psychologist it would be to hear about people's weird sex things. Also their advice (not that I read that column) always seems to be "communicate with your partner" and "rediscover intimacy" and all that kind of time-consuming crap. She also says, "Pornography is the cocaine of the sex world," but surely cocaine is the cocaine of the sex world? You don't snort pornography off a hooker's ass. As far as I'm aware.