Question of the day: Would you do a poo in the garden?
Not someone else's garden - that might in fact be slightly easier - but your own. We were discussing this at work yesterday because I received a txt from a family member who had resisted doing a wee at work (at a rest home - it weirds them out), held on for 3 hours, and raced home to find that they'd forgotten their key and the next person in would be half an hour. I replied saying, "do a wee in the garden." Because I totally would. Not, you know, in the vegetable part of the garden (I know it nitrogenates* the soil and everything but a) eww and b) the dog pretty much has that covered - he is all about peeing on the leeks and leaking on the peas**), but in the plant part. Round the back of the house. Obviously.
*this is possibly not a real word?
**I am pleased with this sentence
Mentioned this to my co-worker, who agreed that piddling in your own backyard is as natural as piddling in the shower (oh please, don't pretend you never have), but who then brought up an excellent point. "I'm not sure I'd do a poo in the garden," she said thoughtfully. I said, "I would not do a poo in my garden." She asked if I would rather do the poo in my trou and, while it's never going to be an issue for me (we have a little nature reserve over our back fence, and that is where I would do the poo) I was curious to see what other people thought. I mean, I know it's biodegradable and everyone would poo in the bush (originally mistyped that as 'bus', which would've changed the sentence - and your opinion of me - completely) without a second thought but, I don't know, your own garden? Maybe if you had a compost pile it would be slightly better.
Also worth noting: colleague and I both have largish dogs, and she thought that the poo could be passed off as canine. I said I thought mine would be larger than his, especially if it had been an urgent one, but she disagreed. Thoughts on this, anyone? I don't know an awful lot about scat and I'm pretty sure it falls into the category of 'things not to research at work.' Also I'd bury the poo, which the dog would not. I wonder if he would bury it for me? Probably not. Probably he would eat it. Mum likes to tell a story about how when I was Very Small I did the odd poo on the porch (see, it's fine when you're under five) and she'd go out to pick it up, and it would be gone! and the dog would be sitting there wearing a huge shit-eating grin.*
*I am extremely pleased with this sentence.
So, at a pinch (excuse pun) I would poo in the nature reserve.
Where would you poo? Where would your friends poo?