1. A funeral director emailed through a death notice yesterday for publication in today's paper. When the deceased has been in the armed forces, the details of their rank, unit, and so on are printed after their name. According to the funeral director, this chap had been in the 22nd Machine Fun Battalion! I picked it up before it went to print, but I sort of wish I hadn't. "What did Grandad do in the Army?" "He had machine fun!"
2. I have an unfortunate tendency, when finishing emails, to lose home row and write, "Regardsm Akky". Lots of my customers have had a Regardsm Akky, but none of them are as lucky as one of Andrea's clients, who got a "Warm Retards." Better than cold ones!
3. I typed up a property ad for last Saturday's paper - the headings were "MERIVALE" and "OPEN HOME", but while I was typing it up I was obviously on google chat or writing an email and became confused, because this is what printed:
It's like the house is saying Hello! new owners!
Amazingly, I haven't heard from the real estate agent. Maybe she liked it too.
In other news, if anyone knows whether or not the huge For Lease billboard on (I think) Blenheim Road is intentionally funny, can you let me know? It says EXPOSE YOURSELF HERE and I am tempted to get a group together and go and do just that.
16 comments:
Do it.
I laughed so hard at the Regardsm Akky and Warm Retards... Got to love the typos :)
Oh you have to go and do it. what an epic post would that make!!!?
Ha! I've sent "kind retards" before, but never warm ones. I've also sent "spank you very much for your letter ...". Lord alone knows what was on my mind!
Blenheim rd *is* quite a public place though.... (HA HA! Nearly wrote "pubic place"... how appropriate)
wv: inernoi: the feelings of upset and annoyance experienced by John Mayer's mirror each morning
Oh typos, what would we do without you?
In a similar vein, I've searched things online at work, using copy/paste, and then gone back to work and totally forgotten what's on my pasty clipboard. In one of our programs, once you paste something you can't UNpaste it, so um... it takes some explaining when I accidentally paste "do raccoons really hibernate?" in a cost estimate or something. Ooops.
wv: butch. I thought they weren't supposed to use real words?
I think the "Expose Yourself Here" is a clever real estate ploy to encourage young'uns to do what you are suggesting...for free publicity. Oh, but real estate agents aren't that clever, you say?
I think I have already mentioned "conslutants". Did I mention "onion disputes"? And "working well solo or with otters".
Butch - its what butchers do all day.
I want to work with otters! Come to think of it, some of my students have otterine qualities.
regardsm: kind of a dispassionate corporate orgasm? Polite, but detached.
"Warm retards" made me snort loudly. You're hilarious.
Hahah! This is the first time in awhile that your blog has made me laugh so hard that dad came down the stairs to see what I was doing! Bwahaha!
The Fun Battalion is awesome. I'm sure my Granddad would have been rather amused to see that on his death notice.
Fraser - you just wanted to tell everyone that you're teaching now, didn't you? ;)
Warm retards,
A
ow1 - I will if you come too.
Scribbles - I know! Sometimes Allu and A;;u happen too.
Tarryn - I will if you come too.
Tooting - aww, kind retards! The best kind. apart, of course, from Best Retards.
Michelle - I actually quite like ineroi as a word. I may adopt it.
Christine - you can't unpaste? That's insane! I'm pretty glad we don't have that or there would be all sorts of crap going into the paper.
uglygirl - well... maybe SOME real estate agents. Maybe it's a dare from one real estate agent to another?
chris - ahahaha! But really, who doesn't work well with otters? Apart from, you know, otter predators. Also, excellent wv! Same as Christine's. Match made in heaven.
Fraser - YOU are an otter.
Stacey - thank you! Although technically that typo was Andrea's, so she is the hilarious one.
Holly - yeah, so would mine. We should form a Fun Battalion.
Andrea - hush, you must respect Fraser, for he is a teacher.
Fraser - you are still an otter.
Nah, my wv was kind of dull, I was just commenting on Christine's. I am in two minds about the whole commenting on the wv of your comment thing - its pretty meta.
wv mesismo - crappy magician at rich kids birthday party
Post a Comment