Today I got told that if I have an accident in the company car no-one will be angry, as long as I fill out a claim form! Also I got told that I will have a company card to use responsibly in client-related situations! But I totally pretended that wasn't exciting because of being a professional. Now I am eating
You know what is not good, though? Those single-serve toothbrushes.
I 'discovered' these when I was in Melbourne and got over-excited and bought, like, TEN of them because oh wow, single serve toothbrush no water required oh WOW OH GOD I MUST OWN A RIDICULOUS NUMBER OF THESE and then last night I was trying to impress Zach by telling him all about my amazing toothbrush purchase and he said I was crazy and that they were terrible and I really wanted him to be wrong but he wasn't, about the toothbrushes or the crazy. Only crazy people buy that many stupid mini toothbrushes. What was I thinking?
Everyone, don't buy these toothbrushes.* They taste really fucking strange, kind of a super-hyper-mega-artificial mint flavour which is slightly past its use-by date and makes your mouth burn a little. The mint flavour itself calls to mind a spearmint leaf that somebody has sat on.
Functionality is also lacking - it's a completely unsatisfying tooth-brushing experience, like brushing your teeth with a Barbie hairbrush - brush is tiny and you kind of have to do one tooth at a time, but you don't want to take that much time about it because of the odd arse-mint taste. And also there is a hard blob of some kind of frozen (?) toothpaste in the middle of the tiny brush and that is all kinds of wrong.
*(Originally typed as tootbrushes. Don't know what you scrub with those. Train whistles perhaps.)
Teeth: NOT CLEAN
Breath: FRESH BUT I WOULDN'T WANT TO MAKE OUT WITH ME
Overall Feeling: DISAPPOINTED
Other: NOW LEFT WITH TINY TOOTHBRUSH TO THROW OUT CAR WINDOW
I am such a consumer watchdog.*
*I don't really understand what that is.