Pretty tired from staying up last night watching the football so am going to present you with my own list of World Cup honours. Specifically, honours based on quality of team nickname. And then I am going to go to bed.
Note: all nickname info straight from the heart of Wikipedia so if it's wrong, not my fault.
Silliest Team Nickname
Australia, no contest. They called their team the Socceroos. It's a combination of 'soccer' and 'kangaroos ' wherein patriotism about indigenous animals overrules the desire to not look silly in the papers, which makes me curious about other national team names. The Crickoalas? The Netbawombats? No wonder they were thrashed by Germany (Team nickname: The Team. Thank you Germany for your unwavering Germanness.) Runner-up: Denmark with Danish Dynamite. Apart from the fact that it makes me think about a pastry exploding, it's... no, actually the pastry thing is enough.
Most Accidentally Racist Nickname
Own goal for the New Zealand All Whites. It makes more sense when you know that the national rugby team is called the All Blacks (although actually that doesn't really make a whole lot of sense either) but still, we could have thought that one through a little more. It's going to be awkward if we ever play Ghana's Black Stars.
Best Animal Nickname
Well. England had a half-assed go with Three Lions, but then Cameroon pulled out the Indomitable Lions to take out both the 'lion reference' and 'this word is bigger than I expected from a sports team' categories. Cote d'Ivoire, bless them, rather missed the point with The Elephants. Yes, elephants are nice, but they embody exactly none of the qualities required in a football player (speed, dexterity, ability to fake mortal injury at a moment's notice). No-one wins this one. Well. Cameroon kind of win, but not really. Cameroon win on indomitable penalties.
Most Baffling, Yet Strangely Inspiring Nickname
Three-way tie: Nigeria have the Super Eagles - which are not only (I guess) better than regular eagles, they totally kick the ass of Serbia's White Eagles. Slovakia has The Fighting Jondas, which is made more interesting by the fact that no-one seems to know what a jonda is, and Greece have a long list of weird nicknames, one of which is Pirate Ship. All of those names make me feel a slight stirring of misguided patriotism and I have no idea why. Especially the Fighting Jondas, which I can totally imagine shouting in a stadium. Slovakia win.
Least Original Nickname
This is an unusual five-way tie between Italy, France, Greece, Uruguay, and Argentina. All of whom have teams which are pretty much called the Blues. Woo. Go team.
Most Badass Nickname
Algeria come in a respectable third for calling their team the Desert Foxes. That is super cool, mainly because it sounds like the name of an elite SS unit or something. Probably they were just talking about the actual desert foxes and should have been relegated to the Animal Names category but whatever, Algeria is so hot right now. It's hot all the time, actually, it's in fucking Africa. Second place to the Korean Republic (South Korea - North Korea doesn't have a nickname, I can't imagine why), with the Tigers of Asia. Also in the Faintly Martial Artsy category, Japan give it a go with Samurai Blue but somehow just come off as being a bit try-hard. Overall winners here - possibly with the best nickname of this year's World Cup - are Spain, with The Red Fury.
Would be much more daunting playing the Red Fury than, say, the Socceroos.