Saturday, July 24, 2010

High Roller

Does anyone else use the Photo Printing Wizard and really like it when it says, "The wizard is sending your pictures to the printer"? Could be just me.

INKIFICUS TOTALUS!

I am enjoying the weekend, mainly because on Friday a client cancelled an ad for next Wednesday's paper because they are trying to ruin my fucking life
of an unexpected financial hurdle and also because of being a douchebag and now on Monday I have to sell the ad space or ELSE. I'm not even sure what the ELSE is - normally if an ad gets cancelled that's cool and all, but these guys cancelled after deadline so the paper has already been laid out and something has to go on that half page and if I can't sell it before noon on Tuesday it's going to be, I don't know, a fucking colouring competition. I don't even know what we do in that situation. I am trying not to think about it.

I will be placid like the horse, not batshit insane like the horde of screeching monkeys which would also make a nice colouring competition subject.

Incidentally, if you want to buy advertising NOW'S THE FUCKING TIME.

In other news, went to a singles evening last night as wingman for a work colleague - everyone there was older than me by at least 2o years and I was chatted up by a nuggety little gnome of a man while my friend was in the bathroom. He looked like a squished, bald Peter Andre and he kept telling me that age was just a number and there were other important measurements too, wink wink. I threw up in my mouth a bit then pretended I saw someone I knew and skedaddled, but for the rest of the evening he kept shooting me sleazy glances from about shoulder height. Ew.

The friend and I ended up going to the casino for dinner with a man she fancied and his wingman, who was about 50 and married, although one suspects he could have been persuaded otherwise. I thought we were going to regular casino but no, we were going to the HIGH ROLLERS area, which I am still totally naive enough to be impressed by, where everything is free except the gambling. Luckily I had Andrea's advice - 'don't sleep with any sleazy old men' - to see me through and was not swayed by nice wine and potential sugar daddydom. I know. I'm surprised too.

I was actually really disappointed by the high rollers area. I always thought it would be like something out of Casino Royale, possibly featuring a few tasteful chandeliers and then Snoop Dogg maybe pops out from behind whatever the expensive version of a potted yucca is but no. It was more like being in a hotel lobby that someone had left a few roulette tables in (they did not fit in Snoop Dogg's room) - obsequious staff and nice furnishings, but all steeped in an overwhelming air of boredom. No-one was even vaguely excited to be there and also the steak was overcooked.
In conclusion: I think high rolling is over-rated.
(Sung to the tune of Ridin' Dirty.)

6 comments:

cerebral e said...

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3943075

I saw a picture of this in a magazine and my first thought was, why the hell is someone making a Peter Andre doll? Then I realised its legs are too long for Peter Andre.

IT IS ALLY said...

AHAHAHAHAHA I never saw the similarity until just then.

Elizabeth said...

Fear not the toils of Monday morning Ally, for I, a raddled old ex ad sales whore disguised as your fairy godmother can ally your concerns about the yawning vacant ad space. If you do not sell it, the powers that be will either give it as a freebie filler to a large and important client they wish to grease senseless, or, if they do not wish to "devalue their product" in this way they will pretend to be all altruistic and run a free charity ad in the space. Ta da, the mystery of unfilled ad space, it is disappeared. Poooffff. Have another drink, relax, take Monday off.

Michelle said...

Colouring competition!!! DO IT!!!

whyareweinindia said...

I think you should have a blog colouring competition! Endless lols.

And we don't even have casinos here, so I'd imagine I'd be impressed by the high rollers room pretty much by default. But overcooked steak is inexcusable!

Claire.

otherworldlyone said...

Dirty old men, some married, at a singles event. Imagine!

I was just as impressed about being in a VIP area recently. Though it turned out to be very different from what I expected.

Snoop Dogg..heh.