I was standing in Cathedral Square today, outside work, and I saw the oddest thing: a policeman on a pushbike. Originally I thought that he must have been caught having a wee behind the police station or something* but apparently this is just something we do, ostensibly because "bicycles are versatile, they are stealthy, and increase accessibility," but maybe actually because we can't afford any more police cars and horses crap everywhere.
Also, I love that the officer they interviewed said 'stealthy'.
*"Right, Johnson, enough is enough, you're on the bike for a week"
My question, though, is what happens when the pedalling copper spots a criminal? Here are some things a bicycle policeman - sorry, policeperson - could do while giving chase:
- Ring bell furiously and shout, "Stop Thief!"
- Shout "Wooo-eeeee-woooo-eeee" in time with pedals
- Employ air horn, which is attached to handlebars or perhaps helmet
- Employ wind-up, air raid style klaxon (although this would require removal of one hand from handlebars, which is possibly not a v. good example for the police to set)
- Wonder why he has not been given a horse.