Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Stop Thief! Ting-a-ling-a-ling

I was standing in Cathedral Square today, outside work, and I saw the oddest thing: a policeman on a pushbike. Originally I thought that he must have been caught having a wee behind the police station or something* but apparently this is just something we do, ostensibly because "bicycles are versatile, they are stealthy, and increase accessibility," but maybe actually because we can't afford any more police cars and horses crap everywhere.
Also, I love that the officer they interviewed said 'stealthy'.

*"Right, Johnson, enough is enough, you're on the bike for a week"

My question, though, is what happens when the pedalling copper spots a criminal? Here are some things a bicycle policeman - sorry, policeperson - could do while giving chase:

- Ring bell furiously and shout, "Stop Thief!"
- Shout "Wooo-eeeee-woooo-eeee" in time with pedals
- Employ air horn, which is attached to handlebars or perhaps helmet
- Employ wind-up, air raid style klaxon (although this would require removal of one hand from handlebars, which is possibly not a v. good example for the police to set)
- Wonder why he has not been given a horse.


slommler said...

Ha! All good points! We have bike police persons in our downtown. They seem to be pretty effective at catching criminals. And they can alert cruisers to what's going on. So I guess it works!!

otherworldlyone said...

If the criminal is on foot, they can shoot them with one of those stretchy tazers. You know, after they do the mouth siren thing.

I got pulled over by a police officer on a bike when I was at the beach for Senior week. And only because it was stop and go traffic on the strip.

He said he wouldn't have given me a ticket if I hadn't laughed at his spandex shorts.

I said I wouldn't have laughed at his spandex shorts if he hadn't pulled me over.

It was a brief argument.

Michelle said...

Ha ha - great post :) I haven't seen one of these oddities yet!

Was thinking it could also be quite difficult at the moment you actually want to catch the criminal - do you get parallel with the crim then attempt flying leap tackle manoeuvre? Or do you fling your bicycle and pursue on foot, risking damage to the bike or possibly having it pinched by some hobo.

IT IS ALLY said...

SueAnn - I guess maybe it does! Still, think I'd rather be one of the ones that got a motorbike.

ow1 - Yeah! I kind of want a tazer but I know I wouldn't be responsible with it. I take it he won the argument?

Michelle - They're definitely worth catching a glimpse of! I think the tazer is the best idea but I'm pretty sure we have 1 south island tazer and share it around. You know what they should have? Lassoos, that's what.