Monday, July 12, 2010


Hi everyone! I'm still stuck in band headspace - we are having pork for dinner and I keep making ridiculous comments about porking - so will share with you some Bad Tattoos. All from here.

Is this one of those commemoration tattoos? For the dinosaurs?

Oh, this is artistic - 'creativity. the mind. the adventure.'
Douchebaggery! The tattoo!

This dude totally looks like he's about to accidentally shoot himself in the nuts.

Oh, uncertainty and lust? Yeah, man, I get tha- woah. Look at those freaky grinning fish. What do they represent? I really hope it's the uncertainty.

I have no idea what the fuck this is, but the butt crack sure does add a touch of class.

These are easy to work out, though. These are vegetables.

Back to tricky questions. Is it the music genre? The TV show? The place you are going straight after the tattoo parlour to sober up and cry quietly? Who knows. Maybe it's 'horse' spelt wrong.

For those who are not Harry Potter fans, Expecto Patronum is what you shout before something silver shoots out the end of your wand. Not necessarily a good thing to have tattooed on one's inner thigh.

Is there a section of society where this means something? Fox in top hat saying Spit Out By Your Mouth? Seriously, I'm curious. Kind of scared curious.

Cicadas! Are they mating? Fighting? Sleeping peacefully in each other's arms legs? I am of a romantic bent so I prefer to think the last one, and top cicada is about to whisper something in the ear of bottom cicada which I have just realised is actually his half-shed exoskeleton. Gross.

This chick should hook up with Mr. Wangshooter up top. Seems like they might get on.

The photo is really too small here but that is a picture of a buffalo with the line, "My heart's a bitter buffalo." It's a song lyric. Song lyrics are not always good things to tattoo on you, no matter how meaningful they are, because taken out of context they're, um, out of context.

See? It's misleading. If you didn't know the song you might think this chick (?) was actually raised by wolves. Especially because the first line of the tattoo is so obviously true.

Know what else is classy?

Bible verse tramp stamp!

This is a late addition that Andrea and I were discussing. Specifically, we were discussing how these two nice squidpeople could ever manage to have sex, and how it would have to be 69 (squid-end to squid-end) all the time, poor old things. The intricacies of squidbanging are fascinating, and now you can think about them too! Also, it's a pretty nicely done tattoo.


a cat of impossible colour said...

Okay, I might be alone on this, but I LOVE the vegetable tattoos. They are AWESOME.

Josh said...

I still wish I had never stumbled across this tattoo (NSFW)

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking at least most these are actually reasonably good tattoos (in terms of quality, not subject.) I've seen a lot worse!

But some of them are indeed just sheer douchebaggery. The 'Fairest of them All' one, though, rings a startling bell. A friend/long-term acquaintance of mine was talking about getting exactly that, including the apple. I actually think she might have got it, now that I think about it.

I shall have to inquire now. I think the discouragement from everyone ever might have stopped her, but she was reasonably determined..

My favourite is the bible tramp stamp. And how the odd noun gets a capital letter. It's all just so reverent! :S

As for the squid people, if they love each other, they'll work it out!


apple cheeked, potato shaped girl said...

I think the worst is one I saw on TV of a cock cumming - strategically placed between the ladies breasts.

slommler said...

OMG!!!! The image in my head from "apple cheeks'" comment is too much! Ack!! It is stuck there now!
Hugging you from beneath my pillow

cerebral e said...


Michelle said...

Andrea, I'm with you. The best thing about food tatts is that if you got hungry you could have a little nibble!

Most of all, though, I love the biblical tattoo. Its capitalised nouns, incorrect usage of apostrophes and semi-colons...

But the best part of all is "It always Protects Trusts Hopes Preserves". I think we might find that the word is 'perseveres'.... quite a different concept!!

Just like we should persevere with our english lessons!

Lizzie said...

I also freaking adore the vegetable tatoos.Marrows. What's not to like eh!?

Riadan said...

the House tattoo is a reference to a book called House of Leaves.
In the said book, every instance of the word 'house' is in blue ink.
The book is quite good, but is so self-consciously post-modern that it's almost impossible to read.