Saturday, July 17, 2010

Vampire Hospital

Andrea and I went to see Twilight: Eclipse (which should be called Twilight: A Little Less Conversation because there was so much blah blah and not enough fighting) and we were chatting beforehand about TV shows becoming stale, and how they could be livened up. With vampires.

Grey's Anatomy, for instance. The only place that show can go from here is if Avery turns out to be a vampire.

Which I would totally be ok with.

Other shows that would benefit hugely from sudden character vampirism include Desperate Housewives, Top Chef, America's Next Top Vampire and pretty much everything on television but especially Survivor: Whatever Island We're Up To because it would be so much better if that show was actually about surviving, not about out-douchebagging the rest of your team and periodically throwing a coconut at a native or whatever. Bring on Survivor: Vampire Island. (The tribes are split based on blood type.)

Also good would be CSI: Miami, for the puns:

"Now this is a case... I can really sink my teeth into."



Anyway, after that revelation Andrea and I hit upon the best idea for a TV show that anyone has ever had, ever: Vampire Hospital. It has all the action, romance and heart-touching stories of a regular hospital drama, but all the doctors are VAMPIRES.

The pilot will open with a packed emergency room, someone being whisked off to the operating theatre, a dramatic operation, a flatline, and a doctor coming out of the operating theatre saying, "We did everything we could..." and then behind the doors the doctors remove their masks and fall upon the corpse and tear it apart. Incidentally, the corpse will be played by Nicolas Cage.

Here's the casting:

Seriously. It's going to be the best show EVER.


bluzdude said...

Love the idea... especially Survivor-Vampire Island. And they thought the leeches in the rivers were bad...

Anonymous said...

JD from Scrubs already had this idea. Well, it's about one vampire doctor in a hospital - Dr. Acula.
I like the idea of Vampire Island!
Is there really too much talking in Eclipse? In the last one, they talked so little but did so little, too. They just sat around on trees.

Anonymous said...

Zomg, I would watch the shit out of that show. You had me at Jason Isaacs.


Ella said...

The fact that you just completely dissed Nicholas Cage made my entire day oh and I possibly may have just fallen in love with you.

I frackin' hate that douche with all my heart.

a cat of impossible colour said...


I think this is the best TV show idea we have ever come up with. And we have come up with many.


Let's write the pilot script! No, seriously.

Monster Girl said...

Amazing. You must create this at once.

Jackie said...

I would watch that show religiously!

slommler said...

Ha! Great ideas for upcoming shows for sure!

Rachel said...

Vampire Hospital sounds amazing, except you will get the Twihards accusing you of stealing the idea from Twilight because of the one vampire doctor on it. Still - brilliant. And I would also love to see Vampire Survivor.

otherworldlyone said...

This has to happen now. I'm invested.