Monday, November 15, 2010

Lyrics 2

You may remember that some time ago - June 14, if we are being precise, I did a post about the most ridiculous lyrics in the current Top 40.

It's totally time to do it again.

Most Ridiculous Lyrics from this week's NZ Top 40

Far East Movement - Like a G6

Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzard / When we drink we do it right gettin slizzard / Sippin sizzurp in my ride, like Three 6 / Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6

I checked these lyrics on three different sites, and looked up 'slizzard' and 'sizzurp,' and I still have no idea what they mean. Maybe I'm not gangsta enough but if that's the case then neither are you, you blizzardy slizzarded Sizzurpers, because this font is only one step away from Lucida Handwriting.

Not legit.

Rihanna - Only Girl in the World

I want you to love me, like I'm a hot pie

You want me to love you on the way home from the pub, after tearing off your wrapper and throwing it in someone's garden? You want me to love you on a Sunday morning, when I am hungover and you are cheap? You want me to love you in less that five minutes, and drop half of you down my shirt?

That... Rihanna, that is weird. Also, I am worried that you will burn my mouth.

Katy Perry - Firework

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag / Drifting throught the wind

No. But if I did, I would be the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

Ke$ha - We Are Who We Are

Hot and dangerous [...] we make the hipsters fall in love / And we’ve got hot-pants on enough [...] And no, you don’t wanna mess with us / Got Jesus on my necklace

Ke$ha obviously does not know very much about hipsters. Hipsters don't fall in love, hipsters fall in faintly ironic mutual temporary suspension of cynical distaste.

Re: hot-pants - does that line mean that you wear them on a regular enough basis to satisfy your hot-pant-craving fans? Or does it mean they are riding halfway down your arse but it's kind of OK because they're not revealing anything crucial? Can one ever really have hot-pants on enough?

Either way I'm pretty sure the Jesus on your necklace does not approve of this.

J Williams - Night of your Life

So when it comes to brill it couldn’t be any better / The dance floor is soaked / It couldn’t get any better / Don’t worry about a taxi / We could get a broom.

This song makes me think of a Harry-Potter themed party where someone is sliding around the (wet) dance floor in their socks, shouting "Brill!" in a British accent and spouting endless broom double entendres in a valiant, yet ultimately doomed attempt to get some chick in a witch costume to show him her Chamber of Secrets.

Enrique Iglesias - I Like It

Girl please excuse me if I'm coming too strong / But tonight is the night we can really let go / My girlfriend's out of town and I'm all alone / Your boyfriend's on vacation and he doesn't have to know

Enrique! You are not being a good role model. But I’ll forgive you, because you are very attractive.

Your girlfriend's out of town, you say?

Tinie Tempah - Written In The Stars

Thats why they play my song on so many different dials / Cause I got more hits than a disciplined child

I only make hits like I work with a racket and bat / Look at my jacket and hat

Crappie Metaphahs. Sweet jacket and hat though!

Mike Posner - Please Don’t Go

I'm trying to keep you in my head but if not / We'll just keep running from tomorrow with our lips locked

If you try to run while you're making out with someone, you will hit a pole.

J Boog - Let’s do it again

It was like food for all of my senses / our time priced is so expensive / like water to all dem dry trenches / she had a theme song for her every entrance

Quite apart from the haphazard rhyming, you know that lyric, about the girl having a theme song for her every entrance? It could be taken the wrong way.

Eminem - Love The Way You Lie / No Love

Now you get to watch her leave / Out the window / Guess that's why they call it window pane

When I'm not even in my harshest / You can still get roasted because Marsh is not mellow

Til I'm toppling from the top I'm not going to stop / I'm standing on my Monopoly board / That means I'm on top of my game

I love Eminem but my God, the man is partial to a bad pun. Am considering taking a Monopoly board to work, whipping it out in the middle of the weekly sales meeting, then standing on it and roaring about being on top of my game.

Backup idea: buy a steak and fling it at Difficult Colleague, whilst shouting "I got BEEF with you!" Feel Eminem would approve.


cerebral e said...

I thought of you the first time I heard that "window pane" lyric. I thought, "wouldn't that make a great lyric for a post about stupid lyrics".

Also, what's with the metaphor "hit like a disciplined child." Shouldn't that be "abused child"? I guess if I were the one with the child, I would claim hitting. She should have just said that she had as many hits as someone who runs whilst making out. Catchy.

Katie, Interrobangs Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness! On my way to work this morning I heard "Firework" for the first time and went, "Hmmm. The lyrics are definitely bad enough to be Katy Perry, and the voice is all over the place like Katy Perry...I'd bet good money it's Katy Perry! Why do people keep letting her sing?"

Now I don't have waste precious Google time looking up the singer. Your work here is done.

Josh said...

"If you try to run while you're making out with someone, you will hit a pole." Sound advice my friend, sound advice.

Phil said...

Mr Quote Unquote sent me a joke recently about the guy in the Casino on a winning streak, with some bread under his shoe.
"Don't stop me - I'm on a roll!"

Raquel said...

Totally agree regarding the hipster love thing, which makes me happy because right there is some concrete proof that I am NOT a hipster. You know why. So there!

Ngaire BookieMonster said...

"Now you get to watch her leave / Out the window / Guess that's why they call it window pane"

Seems Marsh has Flight of the Conchords writing for him?

Cate said...

I can't believe Katy Perry's "Peacock" didn't make your list. We had a drunken interlude about it and everything. I'm sure there was singing. *sniffle*

Salty Miss Jill said...

Gawd damn, you're funny!
More, please!

Anonymous said...


Far East Movement - Like a G6

Poppin bottles in the ice, like a blizzard
When we drink we do it right gettin slizzard
Sippin sizzurp in my ride, like Three 6
Now I’m feelin so fly like a G6

We are opening bottles of beverage while they are still in the chilly-bin, which resulted in an ice-storm. When consuming said beverage we do so to become intoxicated, as expected from our peer-group. The beverage in question is a mixture of cough syrup and soda served in a styrofoam cup which we drink while in my vehicle, emulating another prominent rap group styled after stereotypical italian-american organised crime syndicates. Now i feel accepted and popular, as if i were a 56 million dollar aeroplane.