Friday, January 21, 2011

Band Romance

For those of you who like that kind of thing, here is a version of Lady Gaga's Bad Romance. Those of you who don't like that kind of thing (which I imagine is the majority), maybe go and read something else.

It is based on an unfortunate Freudian type from earlier, in which I claimed that I wanted a 'band romance'.


Oh, caught in a band romance
Oh, caught in a band romance


Rah rah ah ah ah
Guitar, gui tar tar
Tuba oom pa pa,
Want your band romance
(x2)

I want your tuba, I want your bassoon
I want your cymbals and your musical spoons,
I want your Conch
Conch, conch, conch I want your conch

I want your panflute, want your double bass
Want your slide whistle when I fall on my face
I want your Conch
Conch, conch, conch, I want your conch

You know that I want you
And you know that I need you
I want a band, a band romance


I want your horns and I want your trombone,
You and me could have a band romance
Don't want your banjo, please leave that at home
You and me could have a band romance.

Rah rah ah ah ah
Guitar, gui tar tar
Tuba oom pah pah,
Want your band romance


I want your oboe, your didgeridoo
Don't want your bagpipes because they sound like poo
I want your Conch
Conch, conch, conch, I want your conch

I want your organ, want your backing vox
I want your alphorn in my musical box,
I want your Conch
Conch, conch, conch, I want your conch

You know that I want you
And you know that I need you
I want a band, a band romance


(chorus)

Bzzt bzzzt vuvuzela
Don't play that through a loudhailer
Bzzzt bzzzzt vuvuzela
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT
This is band camp, baby

I want your horn, and I want your panflute
I want your horn,
I don't want your kazoo

Horn horn horn horn,
Toot toot toot toot toot toot
I want your horn,
I don't want your kazoo

I don't want your kazoo
I don't want your kazoo-ooo-ooo

Want your band romance!
Want your band romance!

(chorus)


You're welcome.

16 comments:

a cat of impossible colour said...

Tee hee, kazoo!

Scribbles said...

The manthing believes that you need to make this into a music video!

Em said...

I really wish you hadn't put 'I want your conch'. Disturbing and now stuck in my head. Thank you.

Owen said...

"I want your Conch
Conch, conch, conch, I want your conch".

Holly said...

Teehee! So why no banjo? I bet the poor banjo feels left out! :P

Katie, Interrobangs Anonymous said...

Have you seen this one? "Bad Romance" with lyrics about the French Revolution: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXsZbkt0yqo

Michelle said...

funnier than I ever thought a Lady Gaga-related post could be.

IT IS ALLY said...

Andrea - Still regret not bringing kazoo to your wedding.

Scribbles - Ooooh. There's a tempting thought.

Em - Sorry. Is just a shell! Not a euphemism! Show us ya conch!

Owen - In Mother Russia, conch blows YOU!

Holly - because the banjo is a terrible instrument! It can sit in the corner with the bagpipes.

Katie - Wow! Educational and Gagalicious. Can't believe I just said Gagalicious but am going to leave it.

Michelle - Thank you! Aim low, that's me :D

slommler said...

Conch??? Ouch!! Ha!! Ha!!
Now I will have this song stuck in my head all day! Thanks so much!
Hugs
SueAnn

cerebral e said...

Good call on the banjo. However, I have to disagree about the bagpipes (it's my Scottish heritage). They sound more like a dying animal than poo. I guess "poo" rhymes better. Maybe you could subsitute "poo" with "mating ewe"?

I am having my 30th party tomorrow night. Time for hte pinata to get it. However, I'm not sure how to suspend the pinata except to ask my new brother in law to hold it out at arm's length and provide him with some sort of groin protection. Maybe I will just put Mr Crocodile on the coffee table surrounded by whoopee cushions.

Juicebox said...

Teehee... "I want your organ".

sophie rosalind said...

ha. stumbled onto this by accident. definitely following after reading 'i want your conch.' amazing. x

IT IS ALLY said...

SueAnn - Conch conch conch! I love that song, but now whenever I hear it I head band lyrics. Have effectively ruined it for myself, whoops :p

cE - You are right. I have never done a poo that sounds even remotely like bagpipes. I have done one that sounds like a- actually, never mind. I hope you had a fantastic party!

sophie (rosalind) - Thank you for following! And also thank you for commenting. I love comments. Seriously

IT IS ALLY said...

Juicebox - Hee hee. I see you have picked up on my subtle pun!

queenofthecastle said...

I *heart* this. Was trying to describe it to someone the other day... they just looked at me weird!
I can't wait for an occasion to tell someone that I want their conch.

WV: comato (n) one of a pair of tomatoes.

Ally said...

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.