*terriblest superhero ever. He wouldn't say 'terriblest' though. Do you think you could call an educational children's book "The Terriblest Terrorist"? I do. It would be educational about National Security and it would put me on approximately 15 government watchlists, just like this post just did.
Today, I achieved something: I coined a phrase*. The phrase is: "dicks in a tangle"! It is the male equivalent of "getting your knickers in a twist", sort of, and this is how you use it:
"We’ve been sitting here all day with no idea what we're doing, just because management have their dicks in a tangle."
Not quite as good as my other word invention (I think maybe I mean neologism but it's been too long since high school English and I've forgotten what exactly that means), 'povertous'. (It is a better way of saying 'poor,' as seen in "The recession held us all in its povertous thrall.") I know I've mentioned 'povertous' before, but I thought some of you might have forgot.
Just enriching your vocab.
In other news, the building I work in is officially post-quake-safe (although this afternoon a nice man in a construction vest wandered about for a while knocking on walls and listening intently, as if inside the walls were tiny creatures crying, "Structurally unsound!") but the ceiling has come down in the ladies' bathroom. It looks almost on-purpose now, but last week there were bricks all over the floor, which was a little disconcerting. When I am in the bathroom is now the time I am most fearful of earthquakes, because that is not how I want to go.
I do not want to die on the toilet at the Press.
I don't think that's unreasonable.
* I hate the phrase 'coined a phrase.' Why coined? What else do you coin? What is 'coining'? Does it mean 'invented' or 'made'? I am going to start using it as if it does. "Hey guys - dinner's ready. I coined a burrito. What? Don't get your dicks in a tangle."