Thursday, March 17, 2011

Hair*

*Not a musical.

Unrelated: just received email with subject line "
Eclectic Butts McGay is now following you on Twitter!" Love you back, Internet.

I got a haircut this morning and now I can't stop checking myself out! Despite the fact that almost everyone I've seen hates the haircut, I fucking love it.

This is just like the time I bought a delightfully tacky octopus-shape, diamante-encrusted ring and made everyone at work intensely uncomfortable by asking them how much they loved it.

Best response: "It's very... it's, um...it's. It looks like you got it at Timezone."

Now let's look at my hair. There will be a prize for best compliment on my hair. (No there won't.)

Smile like you're awkwardly clenching!

It's going blonde because I'm doing hair modelling in July due to my talent for sitting still for ages with only minor fidgeting. Hairdresser is lightening it gradually for hairdressery reasons that I forget - at this stage the front half is blonde and the back half is still dark. Viewed from above, I look like a Neenish tart. (Viewed from the front or side, I just look like a regular tart.)

It's been a busy day for grooming round here - while I was being blonded, friends were getting bikini waxes. (Why is bikini waxing a group activity?) I was excited and asked if they were getting shapes trimmed into their lady gardens*. Apparently not. I couldn't talk them into it, either - I believe my exact words were "Get a lightning bolt, it will make your vagina go faster!" Nobody wants a slow vagina.

Why would you not get shapes? Now I am going to get a shape. What shape should I get?

I have no idea whether or not I'm kidding.


*
most ridiculous term EVER. Can't stop laughing. "Oh, hello, what are you doing?" "Not much, just watering my lady garden."** "Oh, really?" "Yes! I have already sprouted several mushrooms. If I manage to grow two daffodils, I should be able to entice a tuber." This is like in Viva Pinata when you have to plant certain things in your garden in order to tempt animals to enter. Tuber is a euphemism.

**this conversation is taking place over the phone or something.

11 comments:

Yandie, Goddess of Pickles. said...

I like your haircut. And I couldn't imagine getting my bikini waxed in a group.

And I very nearly snarfed my milk at "It'll make your vagina go faster."

monkeypoos said...

Excellent haircut. It so does NOT look like a Justin Bieber...

Steve Taylor said...

I like it, but I would be a little worried that people may think you started to get it cut on 22/2

Holly said...

I like the blonded hair! Very cool. :)

that girl with the hair said...

I may have just snorted a little when you talked about Viva Pinata. Because I TOTALLY don't play it anymore. No way, I'm waaaay too old.
Just kidding :P
(stupid gatherlings!)

chris.dadness said...

Might have to rename the blog "Another Picture of Meeeeeeeeee" at this rate. Looks good though.

Anna said...

I have never been for a bikini wax, but I would totally get a shape. I bet nobody ever gets a thought bubble, you should do that! Or a lightbulb! Because then it would be like your vagina just had a great idea.

Actually, that haircut is pretty similar to what I've been thinking of going for. I've never really had short hair so I'm trying to work up the courage, but I love it and you should be PLEASED. PLEASED ABOUT YOUR HAIR.

Diana said...

I think its perfectly charming. ^_^ Plus, as an added bonus, you are so happy with it, you're smiling in a most becoming way.

Ptolemy's Daughter said...

Your new haircut is HOTNESS. Bitchin' Hotness. Hotness personified. I will henceforth refer to you as The Hotness (or Her Hotness, on special occasions). Feel free to do the same - because it's HOTNESS (your new hair-on-head haircut, that is... just to be explicitly clear).

tennysoneehemingway said...

Love it.

Tooting Squared said...

I LOVE the new do, mostly because it's like mine!

I bloody love a bit of asymmetry!