Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Weirdest Week Ever*

*weirder even than the week that I visited the nudist colony and the morgue. Not as weird as the time that I thought it sounded like a good idea to start a hotel called HOTEL RHINO FIGHT and have fighting rhinos as the after dinner entertainment.

First of all, a huge thank you to The Bloggess for publishing my drunken email about the You-Know-What - this is the only time a drunken email has ever worked in my favour. Thank you so much to everyone who has commented and/or donated! I'm not going to get all emotional because a) how embarrassing and b) I'll do that tomorrow on a more quakecentric post on the other blog, but thank you, everyone.

Thank you also to the person who called me 'the voice of a disaster' this morning. I'm sure you meant it in a positive way, but now every time I talk I feel like a tornado of locusts should be issuing from my mouth, like Cillian Murphy in whatever Batman movie it was. The one where he has the bag on his head and sounds like bees.

I believe it is called the handsomest Batman movie.

Why would you put a bag on the head of Cillian Murphy?

Everything is kind of ok here, given the circumstances -we have power, water, and phone and tonight I'm going to start working doing quake admin stuff for the council. Will be nice to be proper helping, not just making the odd clever remark on Twitter and occasionally flicking a bit of silt about with a spade*.

Feels totally weird getting all corporate dollied up at 9pm though. Feel like I'm off to be an escort, or a spy. Or a spy pretending to be an escort! Or an escort pretending to be a spy! Let us hope I don't get carried away and attempt to be either of these things.

There will be a much better written, more appropriate post turning up shortlyish on the other blog but I don't really feel much like writing thoughtful earthquake opinions right now, I feel like blathering on about nothing and, is that search and rescue dog wearing little bootees? That is so cute. (I know, I know, it's not cute, it's so he doesn't hurt his feet as he goes on his way... sniffing for miracles.)

Alright time to go and be a spy/hooker/temporary office administration staff member now.

*I accidentally got myself into an Earthquake Love Triangle between two gentlemen who we will call, in topical silt-related terminology, Shovel and Spade. (I am Hoe.) We all 'dig' each other but there's only room for two implements in the garden shed (of love) - who will end up shifting my liquefaction? Watch this space.


Anonymous said...

Brilliant thought to spread the word and do it in such a way the Blogess couldn't resist your plea.

Anonymous said...

Whoops - should be a second s in Bloggess and I can't blame the earthquake for leaving it out.

Jo-Ann said...

The Bloggess sent me your way (and how funnee she claims to not be charity gal! Did you SEE what she did at Christmas??!!) Anyhoo I am thanking the Bloggess for reading and obviously totally "getting" your drunken plea as otherwise I would never have stumbled across your awesome plum jam semi-recipe and wittiness..keep it up.. I too will donate when my bank account has less exciting red and more of the necessary sombre serious black in it..

Yandie, Goddess of Pickles. said...

Wow, 'shift my liquefaction'. That's one hell of a euphemism. I made need to use that.

The Bitner Family said...

Only four comments? I thought you'd be world famous by now. I love your plea for help. (That sounds wrong, doesn't it). What I mean is, your letter to the bloggess is hilarious. Couldn't stop laughing. Wanted to, because, you know--Earthquake! But still, vair vair funny. Been reading a few of your other blog entries and I suspect you're the real life Georgia Nicolson, except grown up and boozier. Not a bad thing, really.

Seriously though, my thoughts and prayers are with you, your family and friends. Pretty much everyone affected by the earthquake.

Phoenix Rising said...

Sent over from The Bloggess and I cannot WAIT to read your blog. If it's half as funny as your email plea I'm the winner!!

IT IS ALLY said...

homepaddock - Oh, you can totally blame it. That naughty quake, messing with everyone's spelling!

Jo-Ann - apparently the jam is actually quite nice! So there you go. Who would've thought?

Yandie - Yes! It's my new favourite. And oh so topical.

The Bitner Family (representative of, unless you all sit around and write a word each) - Thank you :) Laughing at the earthquake is my new favourite thing. Have developed a theory that they are scared of merriment.

Phoenix - Wel! In that case, I hope you like it :)

Em said...

Ally, I think your future lies in Foreign Relations. After your admin/escort/spy phase, of course. Your wonderful letter to The Bloggess (is she some sort of Queen?) proves you speak the universal language of a little-bit-drunk. Beautiful.

allison, a flea circus said...

mmmmmmmm. cillian murphy. and i tried to follow you, not really, but on the nets, because following you from marietta ga would be tough, and i got this response. "We're sorry...

We were unable to handle your request. Please try again or return a bit later." so apparently, following you via the blogs is also tough.

also, my word verification thingie is "duptent". do you need those following earthquakes?

Curious Adventures said...

Oh my god. This spade/shovel dilemma is fantastic. I think we've found the first two contestants for our Bachelorette. And also our "hook", which I believe is TV speak for why people should watch, it's The Bachelorette - Clean Up Edition. And I can totally gen up on garden phraseology for my role as host. My mum has a green thumb (see? I'm doing it already) and will be able to help me write my intros.

anna marie said...

i apologize that i didn't read a single word of that blog. i was too busy staring at that lovely gent.

xo.anna marie

Awesomeness in the Flesh said...

I second that comment about "shift my liquefication"! That is GOLD! I'm so gonna try and start using that as a pick up line..."Say wanna come over to mine and shift my liquefication..?" HA

IT IS ALLY said...

Em - Good idea! I too think my future lies in that direction. Can imagine myself chattering away with a slightly pissed The Queen.

Allison - That is WEIRD about the following thing - must be a glitch with Blogger? Or maybe I haven't enabled something I should. Let me know if any suggestions. We do need duptents but more than that we need supportaloos.

CA - Oh my goodness! Yes. It must be themed. The theme must be (garden) implemented immediately!

anna marie - Don't apologise, I pretty much only wrote a blog so I could flick through endless pages of photos as research.

Awesomeness - oh WOW I really need to use that as a pickup line while there's still liquefaction about. Will let you know how it goes.

Troutie said...

Love you. Love the Blogess. Both in the same post? Magic!