Not Dead Just At The Zoo*

*'When Elephants Write Letters: Thoughts From Ivory Minds.' Season One, Episode Three. 9.30 pm Tuesdays on the Discovery Channel.

Hello everyone, I'm not dead, just at the zoo.

It is almost exactly like this.

I went to the zoo today for work and now I am

ALLY MULLORD: ZOO REPORTER

and I pretty much need my own sitcom, but the downside is that I have to go and do zoo reporting stuff and then I'm going to need a nap because you wouldn't think it, but crocodile riding really takes it out of you.

Obviously I'm still on the split shifts at work and going a little bit mad. My mental doomsday* clock has shifted ten minutes closer to midnight.

Will post on the weekend - tractors tanks & tantrums - but for now am going to sleep and hope not to get a repeat of last night's romantic escapade, where someone promised to marry me if I got to 1,000 Twitter followers.

Sorry for lazy blogging! I'm almost as sorry as this guy:


- and he is very sorry indeed.


(In other news, I wrote a post over here and it is about why you shouldn't send a press release for potato chips and why, if you do, it shouldn't have wine matches. (No, really.))

*Google 'odometer' Google 'odometer' FUCK