*this would be an excellent title for pretty much absolutely nothing
Two-part post, everybody.
PART ONE: SHADY-LOOKIN' DUDES
I walk home from work. It generally isn't too late, only about 10, and I walk down a relatively well-lit main road so I don't have major safety worries.
Last week a colleague was talking in Concerned Voice about how there is some sort of gang house near a corner on my walk home, which is an awesome way to make your friends feel safe, and while this didn't bother me because of well-lit high-traffic area and also possibility that it might not be true I did freak out a little bit when I walked up to that corner tonight and noticed a shady-lookin' dude leaning against a pole.
I thought, "Keep walking, ignore this dude" but he came over and waved and said, "Stop! Stop!" in a drunken fashion and for a short period of time I thought I was going to die.
But it turned out he was actually a nice chap playing lookout for his friend, another shady-lookin' dude, who was urinating on a wall around the corner.
PART TWO: THE TERRIBLE SHOWER
In other news, we got a new shower and it is utterly fucking tiny.
I am going to get stuck in it. I am going to get stuck in it butt naked and have to call the fire department.
It will be like this but with more nudity and less laughing.
Why would you even make a shower door that tiny? Is this some sort of special niche market shower for anorexic midgets?
Why is it in our house?
You can't even lift your arms up to wash your hair without executing a weird Olympic diving manoeuvre, so how is male flatmate, who is significantly taller and broader than I, possibly going to wedge himself in there every morning? Do not want to end up trying to lever his soapy bulk out with the towel rail. Are we are going to have to lower him in over the top?
Also, more importantly, I have boyfriend. How the fuck am I going to shave my legs?
I am going to get dumped and I won't even be able to sit drunkenly in the shower and cry like they do in the movies because the shower is too fucking small.
p.s. this marks 700 posts! You'd think some of them would be better.