I was going to use this blog as a platform to air my views on environmentalists today but then I got to thinking about fart science.
Imagine being a doctor that studied farts!
"So, I noticed your name badge has 'Dr' on it. What sort of doctor are you? Are you a GP?"
"Actually, I'm not that sort of doctor - I have a science doctorate."
"So what do you do?"
"Wow! What are you researching?"
Man. I've added 'fart doctor' to my list of Jobs to Never Have (along with Regular Doctor).
I was thinking about funeral directors today - I deal with quite a few of them through work - and was wondering why the vast majority of them have the deep voice and somber (sombre?) tone you'd expect a funeral director to have. Do they learn it when they decide to pursue funeral direction as a career, or do they start with the voice and go from there? They aren't all a dull lot, though, one of them has the contact number 0800 UNDERTAKER. And Alison from Academy always sounds far too perky - one can only hope she's not doing something naughty with the stiffs, pun fully intended.
I imagine funeral direction would be like event management, except easier in terms of venue and entertainment but more difficult in terms of happy customers. I would be a great funeral director. I have a disturbingly clear image of myself walking into the
Shout-out to theotherworldlyone for introducing me to the phrase 'hang out with your wang out.' As 'rock out with your cock out' is a favourite, I can see 'howwywo' turning into a pretty stock phrase. I'm trying to think of other ones ('chilling out with your willy out?') but I keep coming back to 'keen as a been to get out his wein,' which is a term for an over-arduous swain.
This blog has gone downhill.
In an attempt to bring it back to a reasonable standard, I would like to open the floor to questions. The deal is that you leave your questions in the comments field, and then in a week I gather all the questions which have been left, and answer them. You can ask whatever you like, and anonymous questions are A-OK!
Please do ask me a question because a) question time doesn't happen very often and b) if no-one asks any questions I panic and worry that my blog, and by association my very essence, is crap.