Thursday, May 27, 2010

The Backing Mishap

Today at work, while trying to get out of the goddamn motherfucking bitch-ass parking garage, I put a scrape in the work car. (Would we call it a scrape? Maybe we would call it a dent. A sort of little scrapey dent. Or perhaps a denty scrape.) Not a major injury to the car, but still daunting to tell my boss about - became less daunting, however, when he revealed that he took a taillight out on his first day. Was always going to have a basement smash (sing to the tune: monster mash) in the work car, was just a matter of when. Am kind of glad I've got it over with, in a 'oh fuck I broke the work car' sort of way.

I was in the basement garage doing my normal 16-point turn to get the car pointing the right way to drive up the exit ramp, and one of the women in my team came back in the work car.
"The easiest way to get those cars out," she said, gesturing to my parking space, "is to just back up the ramp."
"I... back up the ramp? Really?" It didn't seem like a very good idea because it wasn't.
"Go on, it's easy," she said. "I'll help."
"I don't think I can back up the ramp," I said, and then began to back up the ramp. What was I thinking? I can't back up ramps! Long story short, the angles were all wrong and I scraped the side of the car against the wall and now I have four pages of insurance forms to fill out. Whoops.

On the insurance forms they ask what was, in your opinion, the cause of the accident, and get you to draw a picture.

My picture looked like this:

But without the text. (I think I put the cause as 'misjudged distance between car and wall.' Obviously. Should have put, 'misbacked it' because that sounds quite professional.)

But then I cheered up because the bottom of the insurance form needed signing and I love signing things:

How can you go wrong with a signature that, viewed from the right angle, looks like a fish and a charging elephant?


*uncorked said...

Love your charging elephant signature! I don't have a signature. I can never decide how I want my "V" to look. It varies a lot. Sorry about the car, but am definitely laughing about it because of your pictures.

otherworldlyone said...

Well look at it this way: At least it was a bump up with a wall and not another vehicle...because that would have required even more forms. Ugh.

Wait until someone rear ends you. That's super fun. (heh)

inquieta_bellezza said...

Have you ever signed something so many times your signature starts to look weird?

maybe its just me..

My driveway is like your parking garage. A wtf were they thinking parking place if you will. I have a curved stone wall on one side and an even more curved brick wall on the other side. i've found if I back out like a crazy person I'm good to go, otherwise its re-adjusting over and over and over again.

You are not alone.

Anonymous said...

Love, love, love!!! Your blog always makes me laugh when I desperately need it!

I also love signing my name! So, inquieta_bellezza it's definitely not just you! ;)


IT IS ALLY said...

V - It's ok, you can laugh. I also laughed. (Not in front of management.)

ow1 - Exactly. Can't wait for my first 2-car incident. Hopefully it happens long after I have my own car and am insured up to the eyeballs.

inquieta - am glad it's not just me! I have done that with my signature. It also gets more and more inconsistent the more things I sign.

Alley - Yay! That is what I am here for :D

Marisa said...

Ally, just so you know - you are several kinds of awesome.