I wasn't going to do a blog post tonight because I am tired and grumpy* and need my beauty sleep (hard to sell ads with a face like a sat-on parsnip) but it is too hot too sleep! It was also too hot to have three cups of tea and eat a whole packet of biscuits, but I did that anyway and now I'm lying in bed like a lumpen... lump. A lumpen lump which is going to be up and down all night thanks to the three cups of tea, then hop cheerily out of bed at 6.30 tomorrow, trot off to work in my little suit, and sell some Christmas advertising!
Nobody wants to buy any Christmas advertising.
What people do want to buy, apparently, is Sea Monkeys! A client of mine is advertising these - for those not in the know, they are brine shrimp marketed as pets. (It seems a lot more exciting when you are five, and on the box they are wearing little crowns.) I became quite nostalgic while at the client's, and said, "Oh! I remember those! I used to love them! Did you have them when you were little?"
"We had brine shrimp, yes," she said. "To feed the baby axolotls."
Oh. I suppose I had a sheltered childhood.
Anyway, the beauty sleep really must get underway now as my biggest achievement at work today was being unable to finish anything I started, including delicious beverages. This afternoon my desk had sitting on it:
half glass of water
half cup of coffee (office-made)
half cup of coffee (cafe-made)
half cup of raspberry Fanta (Subway)
half can of Redbull
As Andrea noted, I am spectacularly half-assed.
But that will not be the case tomorrow. Tomorrow, there will be no half-assery! Tomorrow, I will put my WHOLE ass into it.
And that is why I am going to sleep now. Would you like to buy some Christmas advertising? Me neither.
*I wanted to keep this out of the main bit of the blog, because it's a personal rant which you may feel free to skip, but which I want to say. I am grumpy - actually, furious would be a better word - that local media, um, personage Gary McCormick has written a poem about the Pike River disaster, and that our major news broadcasters are running it - stuff.co.nz link to it on their front page, and tv3 played it at the end of tonight's news bulletin. The poem is trite. It is appalling. It is distasteful and cliche. It could have been written by a ten-year-old, except a ten-year-old would have a little more respect for the dead than to get out there the day after the tragedy and start self-promoting. I'm sure many people think it is a nice gesture but for fuck's sake, Gary, if you want to write a patronising memorial poem then be my guest but for the love of God, give it a fucking week. What's next, Brooke Fraser and Hayley Westenra re-record "New York Mining Disaster"? And stuff.co and 3 should know better than to encourage him. Rant over, and sorry if anyone disagrees and is offended - I try and stay away from not-funny-things, but Pike River was a national tragedy and using it to gain media leverage is not the right way to remember those who died. As one person summed it up: "Gary McCormick, if you're going to write inappropriate poetry, make it good, not lazyarse crap." Exactly. And now I'm really going to bed!