I wasn't going to do a blog post tonight because I am tired and grumpy* and need my beauty sleep (hard to sell ads with a face like a sat-on parsnip) but it is too hot too sleep! It was also too hot to have three cups of tea and eat a whole packet of biscuits, but I did that anyway and now I'm lying in bed like a lumpen... lump. A lumpen lump which is going to be up and down all night thanks to the three cups of tea, then hop cheerily out of bed at 6.30 tomorrow, trot off to work in my little suit, and sell some Christmas advertising!
Nobody wants to buy any Christmas advertising.
What people do want to buy, apparently, is Sea Monkeys! A client of mine is advertising these - for those not in the know, they are brine shrimp marketed as pets. (It seems a lot more exciting when you are five, and on the box they are wearing little crowns.) I became quite nostalgic while at the client's, and said, "Oh! I remember those! I used to love them! Did you have them when you were little?"
"We had brine shrimp, yes," she said. "To feed the baby axolotls."
Oh. I suppose I had a sheltered childhood.
Anyway, the beauty sleep really must get underway now as my biggest achievement at work today was being unable to finish anything I started, including delicious beverages. This afternoon my desk had sitting on it:
half glass of water
half cup of coffee (office-made)
half cup of coffee (cafe-made)
half cup of raspberry Fanta (Subway)
half can of Redbull
As Andrea noted, I am spectacularly half-assed.
But that will not be the case tomorrow. Tomorrow, there will be no half-assery! Tomorrow, I will put my WHOLE ass into it.
And that is why I am going to sleep now. Would you like to buy some Christmas advertising? Me neither.
*I wanted to keep this out of the main bit of the blog, because it's a personal rant which you may feel free to skip, but which I want to say. I am grumpy - actually, furious would be a better word - that local media, um, personage Gary McCormick has written a poem about the Pike River disaster, and that our major news broadcasters are running it - stuff.co.nz link to it on their front page, and tv3 played it at the end of tonight's news bulletin. The poem is trite. It is appalling. It is distasteful and cliche. It could have been written by a ten-year-old, except a ten-year-old would have a little more respect for the dead than to get out there the day after the tragedy and start self-promoting. I'm sure many people think it is a nice gesture but for fuck's sake, Gary, if you want to write a patronising memorial poem then be my guest but for the love of God, give it a fucking week. What's next, Brooke Fraser and Hayley Westenra re-record "New York Mining Disaster"? And stuff.co and 3 should know better than to encourage him. Rant over, and sorry if anyone disagrees and is offended - I try and stay away from not-funny-things, but Pike River was a national tragedy and using it to gain media leverage is not the right way to remember those who died. As one person summed it up: "Gary McCormick, if you're going to write inappropriate poetry, make it good, not lazyarse crap." Exactly. And now I'm really going to bed!
8 comments:
Remember when the Princess of Wales died, and Elton John just rehashed his song about Marilyn Monroe? Tasteless.
Gary McCormick is not that guy who got fired for making fun of Shelia Dikshit, is he?
Oh, I think your rant is very restrained. I cringed when I heard this. Too, too bad and inappropriate in every sense. Why did they give it air-time? Surely better suited for the weekly mags...
a) Sea Monkeys - how disappointing is it to discover they don't wear crowns?
b) Celebrity tribute poems done on a tight turnaround have no chance of being any good. All they can ever be is trite and self-promoting. Why anyone writes or publishes them is a mystery. About a billion people bought the Elton John record though so hey - maybe I'm the crazy one.
c) I just did a "listen and type the numbers you hear" instead of the WV. That's one wacky experience.
Couldn't agree more, that poem is an abomination. I saw a particularly lame expat Kiwi on Twitter eulogising about it.
cE - No! But he could easily be. Dikshit guy (Paul Henry) would have probably been a little more tasteful.
Em - I know! Am more annoyed at the media outlets for giving it coverage.
Chris - I know! When I buy some, I will make them tiny crowns. Agree about tribute poems - surely better not to write them at all! Why did you do weird word verification thingy?
MLS - Eww, expats. Did they mourn for their country? I certainly hope so. This has been Cliche Week.
I had "load images" turned off in my browser because net at home is s.o. s.l.o.w
I remember going to a poetry reading years ago, when I was still at school and still thought I could write poetry. Tuwhare, Kasabova & Hunt were getting all the attention--they signed away (and drunkenly, at least, the two blokes). Gary was there too, looking very sheepish, and obviously quite cut up that no one would buy his book of poems.
I agree with you that it is a little dubious to publish a poem like that the day after, before you have allowed you emotions to settle, before you can revist the poem with a little more reason and temperance.
However, I think people are a little harsh on Garry. No doubt it is because of that silly TV move he made where he dyed his hair gold, and all the previous TV appearances that he made.
But we should forgive him that, I think. He was just trying to make a buck.... and in my opinion, for what that is worth, I think some of his poetry is quite good--as good as Hunts. Remember that he is not new to the poetry game either. He toured with Hunt and Tuwhare (and I think even with Baxter) years back....
Can't help seeing a bit of the knocking machine in your post, sorry... is it really such a crime to publish a poem about a disaster shortly after? Worse than putting a camera in a dead miner's wife's face and asking them, "So tell us how you feel today"?
chris - Oh! Sounds exciting.
Anonymous - I rarely reply to critical comments delivered from behind the safe veil of 'anonymous.' However, wanted to make the point that I'm really more annoyed at stuff.co.nz and tv3 for giving McCormick's tawdry crap far more attention than it deserved. If someone wants to write a mawkish tribute poem then fair enough, but don't think there's anything to be gained by slapping it all over reputable news sites - so I guess it's similar to shoving a camera in a grieving family member's face. Just a slightly different way of exploiting a tragedy for media ratings.
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